Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday
 (1993)
review by Billion$Baby

When the "big star" of a film is Col. Wilma Deering from Buck Rogers, you know you're in serious trouble . What makes me laugh about this film is that some retarded Friday The 13th fanboys reckon that this is
where the series started to go downhill.

Smell the coffee, go to school or just put the crack pipe down and please look at some other horror films made by real directors, you might just learn something. The story so far is that chapters 1, 2, 4, 6 &10 were impressive. 3 & 5 could be MUCH better, and parts 7, 8 and 9 are just embarassingly bad films made by talentless hacks.

One of the rules with the F13th movies to date is that if it stars Kane Hodder as Jason Voorhees and it's not called Jason X, it's gonna suck more than a Thailand prostitute working some serious overtime. The
New Blood was laughable and didn't provide any form of scares whatsoever, Jason Takes Manhatten was just plain painful and as for this one:

Kane Hodder says that his favourite Voorhees outing was Jason X. See that's because he's older than 14 and also has an IQ higher than that number. In this film Kane Hodder plays three parts - Lumpy Head Voorhees (aka Blink & You'll Miss Him Voorhees), a security guard and...ta-da!...Freddy Krueger's glove. Wow,pretty talented guy! *cough*

Harry Manfredini provides his absolute worst and incredibly cheap sounding score for this film. This irritating electronic score is really awful, one of the worst and most feeble that I have ever heard on a film. If the credits didn't state otherwise, I'd never have guessed that it was Manfredini. Having DTS sound on this New Line Cinema dvd does it absolutely no favours at all.

The script is pitiful, it's only matched by the weakest most annoying male lead to ever feature in a horror film. The only decent actor with any form of charisma or screen presence is a black actor playing a
bounty hunter called Duke. And you hardly ever see Duke.

The worst crime of all is that you hardly even see Jason Voorhees since this a film where the horror icon is a body-jumping creature. (This body-jumping idea was blatantly stolen from Jack Sholder's The Hidden feature). When you do see Jason for around 30 seconds at the start and in a three minute sequence at the end only, his head is all lumpy anyway, he looks stupid.

This film only gets half a mark from me for the KNB gore effects, the two very brief cameos of Evil Dead's Book Of The Dead and Freddy Krueger's hand, one violent death scene in a tent, and for the performance of Steven Williams as Duke. Everything else is abysmal...

I had a brief 40 minute scan thru the film before writing this, I just can't bring myself to ever watch the whole thing ever again. Yes, I loathe it that much. I've seen it twice all of the way thru in the past and come away feeling incredibly angry each time.I suddenly understand exactly why Jason Voorhees kills people.

Yes, yes, this New Line dvd is unrated but quite frankly...who gives a fuck? The film is so bad that the unrated factor is completely immaterial.

Extras? Together with your anamorphic print, you get a commentary by the untalented inept morons who wrote and directed this shit, a trailer, alternate tv scenes and a 'jump to a death' feature. The 'jump to a death' feature is the most useful extra since it'll save you the pain and anger of having to watch this feeble and insulting film in it's entirety.

Burn in hell Adam Marcus (his first directorial effort, why am I not surprised?) and Jay Huguely, you owe me three and a half hours of my life and I hope that you both die truly horrible, horrible deaths. Sorry if I sound angry but I am.

A Jason Voorhees film without Jason was a truly stupid idea. And it steals it's central plot device from The Hidden anyway. Jason Goes To Hell fails on almost every level and the shitter than shit electronic score is one of the most annoying things that I have EVER heard in my ENTIRE life.

Eject disc.