Jolly Roger-
 MASSACRE AT CUTTER'S COVE
(Asylum Region 1 NTSC DVD)
(2005)
review by Brad Caffiene

My girlfriend and I are currently writing a book about 80’s slasher flicks, so I can promise you that I’ve seen some terrible films. This movie, is one of those. Thanks to the current trend of recording independent films on Mini-DV cameras (which is cheap), I now have the great pleasure of reviewing a horrible film like JOLLY ROGER.

The movie itself is typical slasher fare. Open on a group of teens drinking beer and screwing on a beach, throw in a generic heavy metal soundtrack and your ready to watch something hack them up. So far, so good. But when that Thing turns out to be a fucking pirate ghost, you’ve really got to wonder who went ahead and put their money up to produce a script like this.

As it turns out, the ghost of Jolly Roger is pissed off since he had been tricked out of his treasure. Years later he decides to return to Cutter’s Cove and kill off the descendents of the crew that mutinied him all those years ago. Thank God the killings are gorey, so that there is at least some form of entertainment in the script.

Other than the relief your blood lust might get from JOLLY ROGER, everything else in the movie is mediocre. The characters are obnoxious and unbelievable, the police force is clueless and the killer himself is a joke. There is hardly a thing scary about a pirate
saying things like “You’ll be swabbin’ the decks in Hell.” The film does however win the award for most unnecessary nudity scene in a movie, when the pirate-ghost gets a lap dance at a strip club right
before he does some killing.

As far as extras go Asylum actually did put some effort into the release. There is a commentary track by the cast and crew as well as some trailers, deleted scenes and a short featurette. None of which will make the movie any better.