Licensed by Royalty-
Mission File 2: Targets
(Geneon/Pioneer Region 1 DVD)
(2004)
review by Big McLarghuge

It’s time for another adventure with Ace and Gary… er… I mean Jack and Rowe, agents of Cloud 7 in service to the royal family of the island nation Ishtar.

This three episode release follows the L/R team first on a mission to thwart a sniper then on a two-episode span to catch a mad bomber named Angel. These are a little better plot-wise than the first four episodes in the series. I particularly liked the sniper character and his daughter lifted lock, stock, and barrel from the Luc Besson’s film “The Professional”.

The two episode arc featuring the mad bomber was a step up too, by involving a mega-corporation (known as “D-T”) who retains their own intelligence division to rival the L/R team containing at least one member with strong emotional ties to Jack.

A minor drawback to the script though is the mysteries that absolutely baffled Jack, Rowe, and the rest of the L/R team. I mean, I’ve seen more complex skullduggery in reruns of Diagnosis Murder and even Captain Caveman.

For example, the two-part story concerns labor strife on nearby Ivory Island (think Scottish miners and you get the idea) being exploited by both the royal family and the DTI Corporation. When someone begins bombing the DTI mine Jack and Rowe are dispatched to find the mad bomber.

So far so good, right?

But the problem is in the details. At one point the L/R guys have to figure out when the mad bomber will strike next, and they have a NOTE FROM THE MAD BOMBER with an embedded clue.

However, it just isn’t a good idea to set up a timed explosion with a riddle that confuses the characters as to when the bomb is going to go off. This wouldn’t be all that bad, but the Jack and Rowe spend a hell of a lot of time explaining that they have no idea when the bomb is going to go off. Since we never get a definitive answer as to when the explosion is expected, the story never generates any tension. It’s hard to watch a clock countdown but have no real meaning.

Strangely though, the clue says “midnight”, which any sleuth worth their magnifying glass would take to mean 12AM but to the L/R guys it means, “we don’t know”. Once Jack has his Eureka moment (off screen) and they show up atop the baseball stadium we get no explanation other than “I figured it out… and this stadium is hard to climb!”

Then adding insult to injury the bomber leaves a riddle for them to solve that will prevent the explosion atop the Ivory Dome baseball stadium.

“Riddle me this Ace and Gary!”

It’s a really old riddle too that begins, “When I was going to St. Ives I met a man with seven wives…” Which, careful viewers will recognize as the pivotal clue in Die Hard with a Vengeance. Once the bomb is diffused Jack and Claudia, the agent working for DTI and not coincidentally, his former partner in Cloud 7, share a quiet moment discussing events we weren’t privy to an thus have no impact on us when the painfully obvious happens at the end of Claudia’s soliloquy.

Why does Jack care for her? Does Jack actually care for her? Oh, she’s dead…

Anyway, we learn one vital clue though. She was somehow connected to Angel, but how, and why, and what does the children’s song piped through Ivory’s island’s clock tower have to do with the explosions?

What’s kind of funny is the translation of the children’s song. All the text in L/R is in English because the nation of Ishtar is analogous to Great Britain. However, all the words created wit h that text are a jumbled discombobulated mess of incomplete sentences obviously written by someone who doesn’t speak English.

Lyrics like: “When noontime moon hiss”, and “I lick you clean” (not kidding, that’s an actual lyric) just made me laugh and laugh and laugh.

The last episode on the disc veers off into la-la-land by introducing characters we don’t know as if they are familiar (i.e. Noelle and her dad) and including a confusing title of “15 year princess” which may mean a Princess of 15 years old, or a princess who waits 15 years for succession.

Once some of this is cleared up (and I mean only some) a band of attack-ninja’s swoop down on Jack, Rowe, Noelle, and her dad and after a shootout the house is attacked by jet fighters. Luckily Jack stored … um… A miniature F-16 in the shed.

Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up…

But it’s okay because the it all wraps up in a neat confusing package that has absolutely nothing to do with the preceding 44 minutes of episode.

It’s all good… er… right?

Taking style cues from Cowboy Bebop helps elevate the show above the usual action/adventure anime, but it doesn’t help much. And what is it with Japanese animated characters that smoke? I made this complaint when I reviewed the first four episodes, and it’s worse here, though admittedly funnier. Now virtually all of Jack and Rowe’s actions revolve around cigarettes. They shoot killer darts, hide screwdrivers, and shoot grappling hooks and wire. I half expected to see Jack light a cigarette that transformed into a helicopter or a friggin communications satellite.

Anyway…

The animation varies between very good and fluid to friggin awful, and I mean Speed Racer awful, but more often then not TNK does an acceptable job. The character design borrows from Bebop too with realism ruling the day and very little chibi to break the somber mood of the four episodes here. Masaharo Sato of “Mahromatic” fame handles the character design. I like his work and tend to enjoy the realistic approach so L/R wins some points there.

The soundtrack contains several original compositions steeped in American blues (think Chabo Riechi’s excellent Lain score) and some more traditional rock and roll type j-pop numbers. One track of special mention is “Always”, a total plagiarism of The Beatles “Because” from the Abbey Road album. The producers better hope Paul McCartney never hears it because he’s liable to attack them with his wife’s wooden leg.

Pioneer’s L/R: Mission Two “Targets” DVD contains both Japanese and English language tracks (in 5.1 surround), anamorphic widescreen, credit-less or credited intros, and some previews for other Pioneer titles and both the Japanese and English trailer.

L/R is confusing, clumsy, and corny.