La Sorrela di Ursula
                               (aka: Ursula's Sister) 
                                        (1978) 
          (PAL VHS: Luminous Film and Video Works)
                                             review by Monkeyman

Two sisters, Ursula and Dagmar check into a hotel at a seaside resort,where Ursula is disturbed by the statues in the lobby.Once in their room, Dagmar begins to change for the evening (cue full frontal nudity barely three minutes in-always a good sign!!)

The hotel has a night club, and Ursula and Dagmar go down to check out the female singers act. We are then subjected to a three minute song from Stella the singer (this woman MUST have been going out with the director, there can be no other reason to include the whole of this horrendous song in the film!) Dagmar and Ursula retire to bed (which is what I felt like doing barely ten minutes into the film).

We then cut to an unseen person picking up a prostitute and paying her to have sex with a young man. The mystery man just watches the sex scene (which borders on hardcore pornography at times, and is made worse by the general ugliness of the performers-If I didnt know better Id swear I was watching a Jess Franco film) The young man leaves and the fat sweaty prostitute is then murdered by the mystery mans two foot long dick (no,thats not a typo, his dick is the murder weapon!!!)

To make matters worse,Ursula has been having psychic premonitions about the murder,and faints in the hotel lobby when she hears about the murder of the hooker. A young couple try and book into the hotel,but are told that there are no rooms,so they end up having to sleep on the beach,where they have wild sex before being dispatched by our films murderous Dirk Diggler.More murders and drug related incidents occur before the unmasking of the killer (to no-ones great surprise I might add)

This is one of the worst giallos Ive ever seen,and yet its idea of a killer using his penis to dispatch his victims is an entertaining enough one,and the explicit sex scenes go as far as they possibly can without quite entering the realms of hardcore (apparently a version was released with hardcore inserts but I have yet to come across this version) What lets the film down is its funereally slow pace,stilted dialogue and mind numbingly poor acting from virtually every cast member, and the capper to it all is an atrocious score from Mimmi Uva.

If anyone on the boards had seen this film it would definitely be a prime candidate for the Hall of Shame, but after reading my review I cant imagine anyone rushing out to track this one down