Neighborhood Watch
(Cafe Productions Screener)
(2005)
review by Don't Feed the Dead

Okay, right at the start I just want to say that Neighborhood Watch is the most disgusting film I have ever seen. Taking into account Dead Alive's infamous "custard" scene, all of Nekromantik and the Evil Dead Trap "eye slice" scene, Neighborhood Watch features the most profoundly disturbing imagery ever featured in a film. In the first five minutes of the film, the repulsive Adrien (Searcy) dines on the infection forming around an intense gash in his stomach. The scene wouldn't be so bad if the damn FX weren't so convincing, or if the camera didn't linger on a scabby crumb clinging to Adrien's lip. Absolutely fucking vile!

Anyways, the story finds Bob and Wendi Peterson moving into a desolate neighborhood as a result of Bob taking a "dream" job with a company named Zeecor. As with many independent horror films, each character has its quirky attributes and the supporting cast of Neighborhood Watch is about as cliche as can be. You have the nerdy subordinate, the bitchy know it all and defenseless elderly neighbors that fall prey to Adrien's concoctions often. See, in addition to being a filthy scumbag, Adrien is also some sort of "master chemist" that is very handy with poisons, especially when dealing with applying them to foods. Early in the film, Adrien greets the Peterson's with a box of home made chocolates, which produce some rather "moving" results.

Hip to their unkempt neighbor's funky beat, Bob and Wendi know that Adrien's intent is malicious, and soon refuse the neighbor's advances to provide them with some exquisite grape preserves. This sends Adrien into a rampage, as he doesn't take kindly to people rejecting his offers. He soon begins poisoning the Peterson's water supply, leaving the duo vulnerable to his attacks. Let's just say that Adrien likes to practice home surgery, and his next procedure will "cure" Wendi of her current sexual deviance.

While Whifler is no stranger to the horror genre (he co-wrote Dr. Giggles), the approach with Neighborhood Watch is very fresh and well prepared. You know who the villain is from the get-go, the storyline deviates very little and there is more than enough gross-out material to keep even the stingiest audience entertained. Which brings me to the SFX of the project. Leonard MacDonald does an absolutely stunning job of providing some of the most realistic and disturbing FX work I have ever seen. Whether it be life like wounds, somebody shitting their pants or Adrien's surgery scenes, the props and make-up are top notch material!

Alas, there are some downfalls associated with Neighborhood Watch, as with any film intended to make the audience vomit. For starters, there isn't much of a plot to be explored, other than the maladies suffered by the main characters. The development of said characters is also paper thin, leaving the audience nothing to fall back on by way of caring for the events that occur. Neighborhood Watch is a gross out flick, so don't expect any type of "Saw" like storyline. What you see is what you get. In some respects, that's actually a good thing for this movie.

If the website ( http://neighborhoodwatchthefilm.com/ ) is any indication of how well this film will be promoted, then I say kudos to Whifler and Cafe Productions. Neighborhood Watch's website is one of the darkest spots on the internet and I strongly urge those reading this review to give the site a full once-over. It's like seeing a train wreck for the first time. As far as the film goes, if you can stomach Adrien's antics, then audiences will eat it up.