Once Upon a Time in Mexico
(2003)
review by Annoyed Grunt

I wanted to like this movie, I really did. Robert Rodriguez’s El Mariachi is one of the finest examples of independent film making you’ll ever see. Desperado is a fun shoot ‘em up sequel that kind of selfdestructs by the end. But this was supposed to be his version of “The Good, The Bad and the Ugly”; an explosive conclusion to a trilogy revolving around a nameless gunfighter. Instead it trips on the way out of the gate. It’s like expecting a classic Eastwood western and getting Joe Kidd instead.

Much as been made about the ‘confusing’ plot, but it’s not that bad. It’s needlessly complicated, but it’s hardly confusing. Down in Mexico there’s a drug lord named Barrillo (Willem Dafoe) who hires a former general named Marquez to overthrow El Presidente. However, there’s one man who stands in his way; CIA Sands (Johnny Depp). Oh, Sands wants El Presidente gone as well, but he doesn’t want the bad guys to take over, so he needs someone to make sure all the right people die.

Enter El Mariachi (Antonio Banderas).

Things have changed for El since Desperado. Despite getting his vengeance and rising off in to the sunset with Carolina (Salma Hayek), apparently he’s been killing his way across Mexico for years. He went to war with General Marquez and lost. Carolina and their child were murdered and El went in to retirement. Now he has a chance to avenge his family and he’s sure as Hell going to take it.
The plot sounds simple enough, but Rodriguez muddles the whole thing by adding a multitude of supporting characters. There’s a retired FBI agent who’s partner was killed by Barillo, Mickey Rourke as Barillo’s right hand man, El’s Mariachi sidekicks, Eva Mendes as Sands’ ATF partner in crime, Cheech Marin as a snitch and Danny Trejo as Sands’ bodyguard/lackey. Plus, generic characters like hired goons and taxi drivers get lengthy monologues. There’s a lot going on for an hour and half long movie and it gets to the point where El just becomes a guest star in his own movie.

El himself has to be the biggest disappointment in the movie. Looking back, there was really no reason for him to be in the movie in the first place. His part could have been played by just about any generic action guy. In Desperado he had some charisma and a sense of style. Here he just seems dead and lifeless. Sure, it works with the fact that his family is dead and has nothing to live for, but it’s not interesting to watch. El should have been tortured and haunted, not vaguely disinterested.

Rodriguez is hardly a poster boy for continuity, but this just gives the finger to the other 2 movies in the series. Why would El start killing again? Why did he get at least 2 more sidekicks whenever anyone he teams up with dies? The El from the other movies would feel at least a little bit guilty about it. Worst of all, El plays the guitar in this movie. Uh, didn’t he have his hand blown to hell at the end of the first movie? Magically healing his hand ruins the ending of El Mariachi. Moco killed his girlfriend and took away his one true talent. By the third movie he’s found true love, became a master gunfighter and now he can play the guitar again. Kind of ruins the tragedy, doesn’t it? I know it’s a little thing, but it just shows the general lack of concern and attention to detail.

At the very least the action is good, right? Well, there really isn’t that much. There are a couple token scenes scattered throughout, but none of them feel necessary at all. They’re just there because it’s an action movie, so there better be some action. I wouldn’t mind as much if they were good scenes, but we’ve seen it all before. There are times when it seems to be building to a Woo style shootout, but falls short. There’s a Mexican revolution near the end, but it all feels staged. There’s no chaos or panic. It’s a polite riot, I guess. There are spaghetti western style standoffs, but none of them have any tension or excitement. When the action isn’t dull, it’s downright silly. A radio controlled explosive guitar case? I hated the heavy weaponry hidden in guitar cases gimmick from Desperado, but that looks completely plausible in comparison. With the exception of one scene where El and Carolina are chained together, all the action scenes fall flat. In fact, the flashback scenes together are easily the best in the film.

So is there anything worthwhile in the movie? Rodriguez’s direction is as top notch and visually interesting as ever. Not only did he direct, he also wrote, edited and scored the film. The editing was good, but the script is the film’s biggest liability. His music was good at times, horribly ill-suited at others. Johnny Depp is far and away the best part of the movie. I won’t repeat all the praise that everyone else has heaped upon him, but it’s all true. Okay, I’ll quote one from the Toronto Star, ”Depp knows he’s the best thing in the movie. He acts like he’s the shit while everything else just is”.

Sad but true.