Ghoul School
(Brentwood Home Video Ghoul School Collection
Region 1 NTSC DVD)
(1990)
review by Catwalk

About a month into my role as reviewer at Horrorview, I set myself a personal goal.  Find a shittier movie than Redneck Zombies.  DING DING DING!!!

Ghoul School.  Where to begin with good ol’ Ghoul School.  A bunch of kids turn in to zombies right as a battle of the bands is performed at school where the headliner is the “blood-sucking ghouls”.  Two nerds save the day.  This flick strives to be absolutely nothing, and manages to be far more painful than that.

Stealing its plot from “Nuke’em High”, its effects from Troma, and its soundtrack from that guy in the mall at the organ store on Saturday afternoons, Ghoul School is an endurance test.

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling makes a cameo, which is more of a plug than an appearance.  Martling puts in a whopping five minutes, complete with a ton of terrible jokes and even worse editing.  Martling shows up because he’s, of course, married to the movie’s “star”, Nancy Siriani.  The nerds even boast tee shirts from Jackie’s website.

Now, let’s discuss the effects.  Effects include the following; blue foundation, red eyeliner and 25 cent goofy toothies.  Also, there’s a total of zero completed lay-ups by the basketball team, the Ghoul School Mullets. 

At 90 minutes and zero dollars, Ghoul School is a movie best enjoyed heavily under the influence of massive narcotics.  Admittedly, this movie didn’t last the 90 minutes without a few flicks of the fast forward button…okay, many flicks of the fast forward button.  Neither I nor my buddies could see the full, director-intended length and depth of this shitfest.  Instead, we elected to do shots of Ketel One and put on some old 80’s hair metal videos, which proved to be even scarier.

Bottom line:  if you go to a party and someone puts this in the DVD player, gut them with a rusty mitre saw.