Haggard
(Ventura)
(2002)
review by Bil Withonel

A few years ago, after seeing a bit of the show on MTV, I had gone to see "JACKASS: The Movie" in the theaters. This was not a movie for the faint of stomach, nor was it a movie for anyone incapable of ignoring their own IQ for an hour and a half (providing you have one to begin with.) One of the girls who had seen the movie with me was going on about BAM and how hot he was. Later on I noticed that BAM was a playable character on my Tony Hawk games (I did not know he was a professional skateboarder.) Later on, MTV airs a show called Viva La Bam. I'm thinking this guy has a charmed life. Rides a skateboard for a living, and makes extra cash by beating the living shit out of his father, terrorizing his mother, exploiting just how fat and gross his Uncle Vito is, and having all these girls in love with him. After viewing "HAGGARD" is very clear that there is another person in love with BAM... that person is BAM.

When Ryan Dunn finds out his ex-girlfriend has hooked up with "Hellboy" (a heavy-metal-ape of a man) he can't believe it. Ryan is still hung up on this girl to the point of obsession. He comes up with a plan to get evidence, and an amount of revenge by breaking into her house and video tape the two together.

That's about it for the plot of the movie. It is an hour and a half montage of Bam showing how much cooler he is than all of his friends. Most of the movie could actually be edited out. Time-lapse sunsets, videos of Bam skateboarding in his house and many other "fillers" take up a good amount of time during the film, to the point where you'll be smacking yourself in the forehead yelling "what? AGAIN?" Bam also takes time to exploit how beautiful his real life Girlfriend is by showing her naked in the final segments of the film.

Keeping this movie from the "shitlist" is the jackass legacy. Bam, Ryan Dunn, and Raab Himself are all Jackass Alumni, and bring there particular brand of humour to the movie at points for the save. I went in knowing a bit of the background story: It's based on truth. Ryan WAS obsessed with an ex-girlfriend who WAS a bit slutty (something about getting eaten out on stage for 311 tickets which she ended up giving away because she doesn't like 311... there's a reference in HAGGARD to this incident)

Don Vito makes a cameo surrounded by naked women feeding him grapes, and Tony Hawk graces the film playing a cop. Extras on the DVD include a "Making of" documentary, and some music videos by HIM and CKY.