Halloween VI: 
                           The Curse of Michael Myers
                                         (1990)
                                              review by Head Cheeze

Hear that sucking sound? That's the sound Halloween V: The Revenge of Michael Myers makes when you hold it up to your ear. This is a prime example of the tempermental state of the horror movie franchise. One episode can be as brilliant as the next is dumbfoundingly bad, and it all has to do with the people you hand the reins to. In this case, the new horseman is Dominique Othenin-Girard, whose impressive resume' includes the classic Omen IV, Private Lessons III, and, his visual tour de'force Night Angel. Can you see the sarcasm oozing out of your monitor yet?

What we have here is the apparent failure to communicate. When one is left to follow up the very impressive Halloween IV, there is bound to be a little trepidation as to whether or not you can build upon an established chapter of a story, and hopefully improve upon it. Girard, however, decided it would be easier to simply throw it away and make doo-doo on our collective faces. This is Halloween as it should have never been, or ever be again.

After Michael Myers' tumble down a well at the close of H-4, he apparently floated down river to be discovered by a blind hermit (in an obvious attempt at class, we get a Frankenstein homage). The Hermit apparently didn't mind Mike crashing at his pad long term, because one year later, Myer's awakens, offs the Hermit, and begins his quest for Jamie (Harris) anew! Jamie is now in a children's hospital, traumatized by the events of H-4 to the point of losing the ability of speech (or perhaps her agent advised her not to say any lines). Loomis (Pleasence) is, of course, back, and he is keeping
a watchful eye over the girl, for he knows that it is only a matter of time before Myer's returns to try and kill her. He's right, but this time Michael has a plan! This time will be different! This time Michael will kill people in a whole NEW mask!

Yes, this is the WORST MASK EVER Halloween. This is the eyes the size of saucers, airbrushed cheek bones, Flock of Seagulls haircut Myers, and he is as scary as an infant with a rubber mallet. How, or why Myers' mask changes is never explained, and is most likely an art department thing, but come on folks, a little consistency goes a long way! (and while we are at it would it be too much to ask that Loomis' burns stay on the same cheek from scene to scene?)

Actually the mask is the least of this film's problems. There are an abundance of atrocities afoot here. H-5 has the distinction of having the least sympathetic victims in the series. After 5 minutes of Danielle Harris' "mute" routine you'll be cheering for her demise as well! As a matter of fact, the only person we even remotely want to survive is Rachel (Gottwald) who dies in the first ten minutes! Not only do we get the most cardboard of characterizations (Tough Guy Car Dude, Goofball Farmboy, Eighties Strumpet) we also get "broad comedy" in the guise of two "stupid" cops. We know they are "stupid" because in every scene they appear in we hear a little musical number that sounds like circus music, replete with cascading pennywhistles, horns and zings! Add this music to the Rockin' variation of the Halloween theme (Bon Jovi style!) and you are left with a pile of cowshit that could blow the ozone layer wide open.

Anchor Bay's Region one release features a fine transfer and sound mix, and offers only a extras, including a short interview segment with Harris, Gottwald (Cornell), and the producers that features a couple of deleted scenes, a "special" introduction by the actresses, the films trailer, and some rudimentary crap that tries to sweeten an undigestable deal. This movie comes in both a tin (although a garbage can would be more appropriate) and keep case, and costs money, which it doesn't deserve, so ignore
it and it may just go away.