INHUMANOIDS!
(Metrodome Region 2 PAL 2-Disc Set)
(1986)
review by Blackgloves

My cartoon-watching days were pretty much over by the mid-eighties, so the slew of animated series from Marvel/Claster (such as "Transformers" and G.I Joe") made little impression on me at the time. The most noteworthy aspect of these cartoons seemed to be the fact that their producers had so clearly cottoned-on to the huge marketing possibilities and moneymaking potential of merchandise spin-offs from successful children's television shows; so, by the time "Inhumanoids" made its appearance in 1986, these cartoons had become little-more than extended advertisements for expensive plastic toys. Everybody was pleased with this arrangement initially: the TV stations had loads of cheap animated fodder to fill their weekday afternoon/saturday morning, children's programming slots; the toy companies had massive amounts of free advertising, and beleaguered parents had an ideal kiddie-pacifier. These parents were probably not so amused later though, when they found they were having to continuously shell-out for overpriced plastic rubbish in order to quieten their brainwashed, fad-obsessed little tearaways!

Time bathes everything in the soothing glow of nostalgia, and many of the cartoon shows from this period now have a cult following. "Inhumanoids" falls into this category and, despite having never seen it before this DVD release, I can see why it would have made such a big impression on its captive viewer-ship! I'm not saying it's particularly good, but the ridiculously large cast of outrageous monsters and the non-stop bombast that all eighties cartoons seemed to possess, gives it a sort of insane charm: it's almost as if a set of random monsters and characters created by the toy manufacturers have been shoehorned into the same plot, which is then soon abandoned for the sake of an attention deficit disorder-inducing diet of relentless explosions and crazy battles. There is plenty of imagination on display here -- and influences seem to range from Godzilla to the Evil Dead trilogy -- but it is all so unstructured and hastily assembled that chaos soon descends in terms of plotting!

The rather unlikely heroes of the show are a bunch of geologists called Earth Core. Geologists aren't renowned for possessing an overly sexy, heroic image -- and so the four members of Earth Core have been given a bit of a "super-hero" makeover. Unfortunately, the results make them look more like a camp gay dance troupe than scientific mavericks charged with saving the Earth: all of them possess overdeveloped muscle-bound bodies and they all wear brightly-coloured, skin-tight spandex costumes! They are lead by the very un-intellectual-sounding Herc Armstrong. He is the founder and more level-headed member of the group and also deals with the politics of funding Earth Core's expensive ventures. Dr. Derek Bright is the scientific genius who designs Earth Core's technology -- which includes their vehicles, weapons and their exo-suits. These exploration suits allow the group to explore underground, protecting them from injury and adverse conditions. The suits are also fitted with special tools attached to their arms. Jonathan Slatterly (aka: the Liquidator) is a chemist whose suit stores all sorts of specially concocted potions which can be sprayed out of a nozzle in the arm. Finally, Auger is the bad- tempered archaeological expert who also constructs all of Dr. Bright's equipment -- occasionally making his own modifications to the designs! The team is joined by Sandra Shore -- the sister of Blackthorne Shore: the evil cofounder of Blackthorne Industries.

Earth Core are pitted against a number of bizarre monsters but the primary ones are the three giant, 100 foot tall creatures known as The Inhumanoids: Tendril lives within the Earth's mantle and is a giant plant-like creature (rather like Swamp Thing) with tentacle appendages. If any piece of him is cut off, it regenerates into a new, full-grown Tendril monster! Within the Earth's mojo discontinuity (the area between the mantle and the core), in the city of the undead called Skellweb, lives the vile monster known as D' Compose. He is a giant, dinosaur-like creature with a T-Rex head but a skeletal, human-like body. His exposed rib cage is often used to contain prisoners. He is unable to come out in sunlight but has the ability to turn people into giant demonic ghouls who follow his commands! Finally, Metlar lives at the Earth's core and rules the kingdom of Infernac. He is a red demon-like monster who leads the other two Inhumanoids and has the power to turn stone statues into animated beings! He cannot be destroyed but is contained by being neutralised by opposing magnetic polarities!

There are other strange races of creatures in the series known as Mutores. Long ago, the Mutores waged a war with the Inhumanoids who wanted to destroy the Planet to enable them to live on the surface rather than being confined to their underground kingdoms. The Mutores won the battle with the Inhumanoids and managed to imprison them all underground. The race of living trees known as Redwoods managed to contain D' Compose in an amber pit; they actually look like tree stumps with arms and legs and are lead by Redlen. Tendril was imprisoned in a stone chamber by the race known as the Granites: creatures made of stone and lead by the peaceful leader called Granok. The strangest creature is Magnator: he is really two creatures in one; he can split into two creatures called Crygen and Pyre (made of ice and fire respectively) who are opposite in everything. They can use their opposing magnetic polarities as a shield to imprison the leader of the Inhumanoids, Metlar, in the Earth's core.

The first disc of this two disc set features the five part movie "The Evil That Lies Within" which introduces all the characters and their back story. Deep within the Bigsir National Forest a dinosaur is discovered encased in amber. It is transported to the San Francisco museum where members of Earth Core are convened in order to study it. Meanwhile Oil company, Blackthorne Industries, release the Inhumanoid Tendril from his stone chamber and he goes on a rampage! At the ceremony at the Museum, the amber casing splits open to reveal, not a prehistoric dinosaur but the inhumanoid, D' Compose! Tendril is drawn to the piercing screams of D' Compose and the two go on a rampage of destruction in San Francisco. The government funded Earth Core investigate the forest and the granite pit and come into contact with the race of Granite people and the treelike Redwoods. They learn how Metlar, D' Compose and Tendril were imprisoned after the great war that was fought in the ancient past; the Redwoods explain that the two freed Inhumanoids will try to free Metlar from the magnetic force fields of Magnator in the Earth's core. Unknown to all, Blackthorne Shore always planned to release Tendril, knowing that the monster would help D' Compose escape, and that the two would team-up to free Metlar. Blackthorne wants to harness the power of Metlar for his own corrupt ends; he persuades corrupt senator Masterson to cut Earth Core's budget and to supply him with the plans of their exo-suits. His sister, Sandra, discovers this and escapes to tell Herc and the team of Blackthorne's plans. They all travel deep into the Earth to warn Magnator of these events but Blackthorne is also on his way to free Metlar.

The second disc features all eight episodes of the TV series, which, although they all end on cliff-hangers, are relatively self-contained, twenty minute stories. These are a great deal more watchable than the movie version which soon degenerates into an endless series of battle sequences. The series also introduces a number of new characters (as if things weren't confusing enough all ready!) over the course of the episodes. Blackthorne Shore teams up with The Night Crawler: a creature who started out as criminal geneticist Dr. Herman Mangler -- a stereotypical "mad scientist" who shared a cell with Blackthorne (who was captured at the end of "The Evil That Lies Within"). The two were freed by the intelligent computer Cypheroid who wants to release the Inhumanoids once more in order to take over the world! Tendril (under the control of Cypheroid) frees Mangler and Blackthorne from their prison cell but Mangler falls into a lake-full of toxic waste and apparently dies; but Blackthorne has him resurrected by D' Compose and he becomes a grotesque creature with a rotted skull and a giant maggoty whip-like arm -- but with Dr. Mangler's consciousness still attached to it!

Later, an even weirder race of creatures is introduced which look like insect-lizard hybrids! There is also a Gargoyle creature which has a crocodile-like head with a single eye in its centre; he has a short, bulbous body with a transparent stomach which allows one to see him digesting his victims! Finally, the last few episodes introduce Slither: a snakelike creature who was once Metlar's master! It turns out that Slither had Metlar build all of the ancient wonders of the world (such as the Pyramids) before Metlar turned on him and had him imprisoned in one of the temples of Angkor Watt in Borneo!

This series is certainly always imaginative in its monster designs and the outrageous backstory given to them; but it is also typical of most cartoons from the eighties in that it falls into the set formula have having to have constant battle sequences and smothering everything in relentlessly bombastic incidental music. Fans of cult TV will doubtlessly appreciate this bizarre series though, and all thirteen episodes are included here -- along with files for the complete scripts, a US Hasbro toy packaging gallery and US Hasbro TV spot!