Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
(2006)
review by Died with Boots On

Now this is the Gore Verbinski that gave us nightmares. While this "Pirates of the Caribbean" only has a flavor of things that go bump in the night, it possesses a darker, gloomier presence that sets this sequel apart from its swashbuckling, devil-may-care forerunner. That's not to say that Johnny Depp's eccentric manner of being is kept to a minimum, because it's not. If anything, I think this movie is more self-aware of Depp's comedic chops. What I do mean to say is that "Dead Man's Chest" is an epic tale. Gone is the cutesy "Disney" fingerprint that strangled the first movie, restrained it from blossoming to its full potential. Gone is the mindless banter and stylish caricatures that bogged down nearly every scene of "The Curse of the Black Pearl." Do not fret for Captain Jack Sparrow remains intact. The only difference is that in this film, Captain Jack's conscience no longer frolics in its own idyllic wonderland. His character wallows in dimension as he becomes involved once again in the lives of Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann.

A few years ago, there was a horror movie that really galvanized Western cinema. It became the undeniable staple in every filmgoer's diet, the work of art bound to stand the test of time from my generation. The movie was "The Ring," and the director was Mr. Verbinski. Ever since I saw that movie, I've been able to stomach anything, and it's considerably harder to send a shiver down my spine. The one scene I remember that was executed perfectly was the scene where Amber Tamblyn's waterlogged corpse was found in the closet, her lower jaw unhinging. Well, I guess that was Gore's favorite scene too, because he didn't hesitate to use the same spine tingling makeup effects on the waterlogged corpses of the recruits of The Flying Dutchman. Not only was the makeup terrifying, but the CGI was photo-realistic as well, many of Davy Jones' living dead resembling hammerhead sharks and hermit crabs and blowfish. So many invisible elements go into fashioning the ambience of the zombie ship, but the octopus-headed, claw-handed Davy Jones steals the show with his wry sense of humor. And who better to play him than "Shaun of the Dead's" own Bill Nighy. There wasn't a member of the cast who wasn't in their element and the chemistry was effortless.

Beginning with our two lovebirds from the previous film, the intrepid Will Turner (Bloom) and the enchanting Elizabeth Swann (Knightley), on what was meant to be their wedding day, are escorted in handcuffs before what resembles a firing squad. Before they can be imprisoned, Governor Weatherby Swann (Jonathan Pryce) demands to know why his daughter is being taken away in such a manner. The malicious Lord Cutler Beckett (Tom Hollander) of the East India Trading Company has exercised his economic swing by ascertaining warrants for the arrest of Jack Sparrow's two lovey-dovey accessories. While they suffer from cabin fever in prison, we watch as the shackled Captain Jack's (Depp) body is slapped into a coffin and heaved into the ocean. The serenity of the peacefully adrift coffin shatters as a thunderous roar echoes and the lid splinters away, the "swishy" motion of Jack's musket-bearing hand creeping out of the box. Making his way onto his beloved Black Pearl, he clutches a narrow role of paper in his hand that he unravels and reveals to his crew. Stained in ink on the tattered scrap is a sketch of a key, a key that opens the Dead Man's Chest.

Meanwhile, Lord Beckett has set his sights on something of Jack Sparrow's. Calling for young Turner, Beckett discloses that he will pardon Will of his treasonous crime if he will do him a favor. Captain Jack possesses a compass that he wants to wrap his fingers around, so in exchange for the compass, Turner will be pardoned. Accepting the wild goose chase of a hunt, Will readies a ship for the pirate's port of Tortuga, a sin city where drinking and dancing is embraced night and day. Captain Jack, on the other hand, is trying desperately to read his haywire compass, which he believes, will lead them to The Chest of Davy Jones. One night, in the middle of the night, Captain Jack hears a low murmur and faint creaking from the galley of the ship. Aboard The Black Pearl is the mutilated ghost of Bootstrap Bill Turner (Stellan Skarsgård). Reminding Captain Jack that it is time to repay an old debt to the captain of the Flying Dutchman himself, he takes Jack's palm in his and marks him with the "Black Spot." The debt was for reviving the Black Pearl and making Jack Sparrow captain for thirteen years. With time running out, Jack must escape the inescapable or else have an afterlife riddled with damnation and servitude to the crypt keeper of the seas, a ghostly man who keeps the ferocious squid-like Kraken monster as his pet.

By this point in the movie, there are many subplots that later collide. With Jack weaseling his way out of paying his debt and heading for land, an asylum from the beasties after his neck, Will sniffing at the heel of Jack's boots, seeking his compass, Davy Jones trying to protect his chest, buried on a secret island, Elizabeth looking to rescue the man she loves, which becomes more and more unclear as the movie plods on, escaping prison and boarding a trade ship dressed as a man, the movie takes some twists and turns that yield even more plot developments. After a fruitless search for Jack, Will finally receives word that his ship was seen abandoned on a remote island. After being taxied out to the desert beach, Will wanders throughout the jungle and finds his ankle snagged in a trap. The camouflaged natives leap from the foliage and blow a tranquilizer dart into his neck. The cannibals take Will to the summit of the highest peak where their city was built, taking him to their king and god, Captain Jack Sparrow. As it turns out, the cannibals believe that their god is trapped in the body of Captain Jack, and to release him, they must devour his earthly carcass. His crew is imprisoned in two spherical skeletal cages that were constructed out of the bones from the less fortunate shipmates and dangle over the edge of a cliff. Devising a plan to escape, the eloping crew distracts the cannibals long enough for Jack to worm his way off of the spit that he has been wrapped around. Both parties making their way back to the Pearl, they set sail for an island mystic "up river." Bartering with the Jamaican Tia Dalma (Naomie Harris), Captain Jack swaps Barbossa's undead monkey for information regarding Davy Jones and the whereabouts of The Flying Dutchman. Tia begins telling Will about the legend of The Dead Man's Chest. She reveals that within its confines is the beating heart of Davy Jones, the heart that he carved from his own chest in the name of love. We also find out that the compass that Jack possesses is "broken" because it doesn't point toward the magnetic northern pole, it points to the thing you desire most.

By nightfall, they find a shipwreck that they are convinced is the Flying Dutchman. Jack twists the tale of his debt to Davy so that young Turner believes that he must find the key in order to save Elizabeth. Rowing out to the wreck, he searches the vessel and finds a scrawny, near-dead sailor. The sailor tilts his eyes downward and gestures slightly with his index finger. Then it becomes crystal clear, the shipwreck was being used as bait. The real Flying Dutchman catapults out of the watery depths and its crew board the half-submerged vessel, taking Will hostage until Jack comes through on his end of the bargain. Through his spyglass, Jack Sparrow sees the face of Davy Jones staring right into his eyes, and when he pulls the telescope away, the briny sea captain stands before him. Playing on the stories of why Davy cut out his heart, Jack tells him that young Will is in love and is to be married. Striking a chord in the captain of The Dutchman, Sparrow convinces him to take Will as collateral for a deal that will be brokered in three days time, three days that Jack has to round up ninety-nine souls for Davy's undead crew. Winning a reprieve and buying him time, Jack sets sail for Tortuga. Meanwhile, Elizabeth rigged a ghost on the merchant ship using a dress that she stowed away. Writing "Tortuga" in kerosene on the planks of the deck, she draws the captain and a few other sailors before swooping her ghost onto the deck and knocking over a whale oil lamp, setting the kerosene aflame. The superstitious captain thinking it's a sign, they drop anchor at the port, and Captain Jack and Elizabeth reunite.

Recruiting sailors for The Black Pearl, Sparrow has a run-in with his old friend, the disgraced Ex-Commodore Norrington (Jack Davenport), who is looking to regain his position and honor in the king's eyes by squirreling away Jack's compass and returning to Lord Beckett. Telling Elizabeth that the only way she can regain Will is by finding Davy Jones' heart, he hands her the compass, hoping that her heart will point them in the direction of the chest. Back on the Flying Dutchman, Will meets his dead father, Bootstrap Bill. Challenging Davy Jones in a game of Liar's Dice, Will bids his soul for Jones' key. Jones pulls the key from beneath his beard of tentacles, and then replaces it. Bootstrap Bill makes the same wager. Will threw miserable dice, and makes an outrageous lie that the captain calls. Saving his son from the same fate he was destined for, Bootstrap makes an even more outrageous lie, and shoulders the burden of defeat. Will tells his father that he will steal the key and pierce Davy's heart with his own bear hands, severing the leash of his father's eternal damnation. The rat race begins as both parties navigate the open waters toward the chest, the Kraken still on the loose, Sparrow chasing after the heart to call off Jones' beastie witch hunt, Will wanting to tear the heart apart at the seams to set his father free, the Commodore needing the heart to regain favor in England, and Davy Jones in dire straits to preserve it.

"Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest" is an epic adventure if ever there was one. This film was left unfinished, every character hanging in the balance. The finale is beautiful, pocked with jaw-dropping twists and turns and something that defines Captain Jack Sparrow as an epic hero, something Verbinski subtly played upon and will develop more in the last of the trilogy. After the movie ended, another movie came immediately to mind. That movie was "The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers." I don't want to say why, but there is an uncanny resemblance even though the plots aren't anything alike. This movie was thrilling, exciting, and electric, and overshadows its precursor. The tension is thick and there is a climactic urgency in the atmosphere that has you biting down on your tongue. The comic relief is well timed and invigorates the fanfare. The last time I remember having this much fun in a movie theater was during the interactive cult viewing of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Just to give you an idea of what I was up against when I strolled unknowingly into the movie theater for a peaceful afternoon, "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest" grossed an estimated $55.5 million on its opening day, the day that I went, setting the record for the largest opening day, the largest single day gross, and the largest Friday gross of all time. I had decided on seeing the movie at around two o'clock in the afternoon, and had to wait until midnight. It was well worth the wait, though, and the audience I watched it with was having just as much fun as the movie itself. See this movie in theaters, and share an armrest with someone you don't know, and eat popcorn smothered in butter, and wipe your hands on your pants. This epic gets my vote for "Must-See Summer Blockbuster of the Year," and I can't wait until the debut of the finale.