Scary Movie 4
(2006)
review by Died with Boots On

"Scary Movie 4" is not what it promises. One of the teaser trailers suggests that a "King Kong" parody would flesh out in the horror spoof fondue, but no such scene made the cut. The continuity was shoestring and staccato, furnishing no meat on the whittled-down skeletal ripple effect of the film's tide. The flimsy plot was spread thin as the taxed David Zucker took pains to coalesce a handful of mismatched genre blockbusters – and "War of the Worlds" – into a surrendering, incoherent farrago much like its predecessor. The physical comedy is unremittingly tired and repetitive as the intuitive daughter of Tom Cruise's character in "War of the Worlds" is fashioned in the image of "Scary Movie 3's" maltreated Cody. Anna Faris' comedic timing redeems the movie, as her Cindy Campbell becomes Tom Ryan's Katie Holmes.

Opening with a lampoon of the original "Saw," Shaquille O'Neal wakes up face down in a bathtub. Realizing his ankle is chained to a pipe, he begins calling for Kobe. Dr. Phil is shackled opposite Shaq. Next on the menu is "The Grudge," as Charlie Sheen flounders about with an erection in his apartment and leaps off the balcony. Dovetailing this raillery, we are introduced to Tom Ryan (Bierko), a "Scary Movie" rookie, as he becomes the unlikely hero of a "triPod" invasion. Interjected in the "War of the Worlds" segment is an out of its element "Brokeback Mountain" sketch. The movie strays further from the horror genre as it develops a "Million Dollar Baby" farce featuring a Mike Tyson look-alike.

Following is one of the movie's funnier vignettes as Cindy is escorted through "The Grudge" house, ignorant of the streaming raven-hued hair cascading from the walls, or the lurid, waist-high meowing child. Scruffily transitioning from the resurrected Brenda and Cindy in a "War of the Worlds'" climate, Chris Elliot is glimpsed leading a prayer (pee-pee vagina) as "The Village's" village idiot. Ironically, M. Night Shyamalan's was funnier and more pathetic, if always for the wrong reasons. David Zucker brings the movie full-circle as Brenda and Cindy are harnessed in the "Venus flytrap" death masks from "Saw 2," Tom Ryan sporting an elaborate contraption that has a crossbow aimed up his rectum. Then, as promised, Tom Ryan advertises his unhealthy love for Cindy Campbell on "Oprah."

Though the Japanese matted-hair fetish and "Brokeback Mountain" jokes are stale and overworked, "Scary Movie 4" is one-dimensionally sublime. A far cry from the Wayans Brothers, this fourth chapter cannot hold a candle to the early days of the franchise, and showcases the burned out farcical chops of the anthology's returning cast members. That said, I liked this movie in spite of myself. Once I welcomed the notion of another, lucidly lowbrow installment in the same vein as its antecedent, a haze of giddy frivolity descended upon my head as I became immersed in the buoyant atmosphere and charming wit that saturated the threadbare production.

It becomes evident through his headless zeal that Zucker possesses a tender soft spot for his cinematic targets, contributing his endearing tongue-in-cheek style to the "Scary Movie" formula. Jokes about Cruise's "Oprah" meltdown or Michael Jackson's pedophilia trial are frail and ineffective, while the creative parody gimmicks are what the audience came to see, lame puns and half-baked sexual humor becoming shamelessly addictive. There was even a scene reminiscent of "Shaun of the Dead," though I guess a parody of a parody would have been a touch ostentatious. One complaint I have regarding the scattershot movie references is the absence of "Hostel." Surely if the writers could swing a "Brokeback Mountain" liaison, "Hostel" wasn't impossibly out of reach. My appetite would have been satiated with a single hanging eyeball. It might as well be renamed "Pop-Culture Movie," as the horror genre is once again given the backburner.

Even though the script was thrown into a fan and the shreds were filmed at random, this blithe jigsaw puzzle delivers a barrage of expectedly uncouth gags with nimble, enthusiastic energy.