Slashdance
(1989)
review by Catwalk

From the Casio mini-keyboard playing over its menu to the opening title sequence with the cartoon knife, Slashdance gives off an environment of pure cheese, and it only gets worse. Attempting to mix comedy in with the terrifying mystery of a slasher who offs dancer chicks, Slashdance is another in a long line of no-budget 80's flicks great to watch if you like bitching at the screen.

In the opening scene, a girl arrives at her audtion only it find out no one is at the theater. Undaunted, and not willing to let that stand in the way of her Flatley-esque love of the dance, she puts on headphones, stretches out and dances. She then gets killed by a guy with a saw..and a cape.

Who fucking wears a cape in 1989? Elvis was dead 12 years already.

Our heroine is Tori (Maranne) who comes on the scene by turning down a flasher and then beating the hell out of two fat chicks. Slashdance is shot with angles and dialogue missing only the sex scenes to be porn. Except that most pornos don't have a character who appears to be an epileptic member of the Stray Cats….most.

Given that a handful of these recurring roles are played by members of the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling, lowering expectations before pushing play is a good plan. The sad part is they outperform half of the cast. That is not to say that they don't get their chance to butcher “dancing” about midway through the movie.

James Carroll Jordan shows up late as the director of the doomed musical, injecting his veteran TV acting skills into the mix. Soon after, he is replaced by the inevitable chase-cam that shows diabolical evil-doing. Slashdance is predictable and tiring, and will leave you chanting “5-6-7-8” for a week afterwards.

(ed. note- Not to be confused with Lucio Fulci's Murder Rock, which was also released under the title Slashdance.)