The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
(New Line Platinum Series Region 1 DVD)
(2003)
review by Head Cheeze

I was so prepared to hate Marcus Nispel's remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre that I probably did the director a favour by arriving to the theater with a chip on my shoulder; It gave Nispel a chance to knock that chip off with a relentless and sadistic glee I'd not seen in mainstream horror since the slasher heyday of the early 1980's. Nispel defied expectation (as well as the current trend of softer violence in Hollywood horror) and delivered a film that was equal parts backwoods thriller and grand guignol, earning both a huge box-office take, as well as a few apologies from stubborn diehards who expected nothing short of a complete disaster.

For a synopsis and my review of the theatrical release, click here, for nothing's really changed upon this viewing. The film's just as effective at home as it was in the cinema, and this New Line Platinum Edition offers so much by way of extra features that I need all the space I can muster to cover them all!

Disc One features the film in a fantastic widescreen anamorphic transfer that balances the abundance of shadows and darkness with the film's pale yellow skies and muted interiors wonderfully, and the 5.1 soundtrack is crisp, clear, and thunderous when called for. Disc One also features three separate audio commentary tracks featuring producer Michael Bay, director Nispel, and members of the cast.

Disc Two features a feature-length making-of documentary, Chainsaw Redux, that offers a comprehensive look at the creation of the film, from concept to release, and is quite entertaining. There is also a short documentary about Ed Gein, the real-life serial killer who served as the inspiration for Hooper's original. It's a pretty gruesome thirty minutes in which psychologists and writers dissect the life of Gein, and how his upbringing led to his eventual psychotic break. The short features actual crime scene photos that are pretty repulsive, as well as in-depth discussion about the specifics of the man's techniques.

There are also a few deleted scenes that include an alternate opening and end sequence that I'm actually quite happy they didn't use because, frankly, it was rubbish. A couple of the deleted scenes feature more violent versions of a couple of character deaths, as well as a few scenes of character development that focused on the relationship between Balfour and Biel's characters, as well as Biel's character's pregnancy (which is still alluded to in the theatrical version).

Disc Two also features screen tests for Biel, Leerhsen, and Balfour, a conceptual art gallery, television spots, and a music video to round things out.

This is a really nice set, but I have a couple of issues....

It's a great looking package, no doubt, but the embossed metal plate (which I thought was part of the cover) falls off the minute you take off the shrink-wrap, as it's not secured to the slipcase in any way. I guess I'm supposed to decorate my house with it, or something, but I'd rather it at least be attached with some sort of velcro or tacky glue just so I can keep it with the rest of the set. The fold out insert is nifty, and has a wee pocket that contains a tiny envelope full of "evidence" photos. The only problem is that this envelope is sealed with the most mighty glue I've ever encountered, and is now sitting on my coffee table in shreds!!! I literally had to tear the thing into pieces to get at the little postcard sized "crime-scene" photos. If they'd only applied on drop of that glue to the metal plate cover doo-dad!

My REAL complaint is the price of the set. This thing set me back $34.95, and that was at Best Buy, where new releases are always a few bucks cheaper than retail. This one wasn't, but I did get a free copy of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre with the purchase, which would have been a welcome bonus if I didn't already have two variants of that version already. I asked if they could just knock off the $15 dollars that the "bonus" DVD would normally sell for and the sales girl looked at me like I just tweaked her nipples or something. Ultimately, I ended up walking away close to $35 dollars lighter. The single-disc edition was on sale for $15.99, but that one's fairly light on features, and I knew I'd kick myself later if I bought that version.

Price and aesthetic shortcomings aside, this DVD set is a really nice collection. The abundance of features, as well as the ability to freeze frame on every scene in which Jessica Biel's t-shirt is wet, softens the financial blow, but I still think that, for nearly forty bucks, I should get a complimentary hand-job. I mean, as nice as this set is, there are about a dozen other two-disc sets out there, of equal quality, that cost half the price of this one. I imagine that a good chunk of the price bump was due to the tin-pan cover, which, to be honest, I'd easily sacrifice if it shaved off a $10 bucks!

Bottom line is, this is a great set if you've got the extra scratch. If not, you can always buy the cheaper single-disc version. Better yet, just sneak in and steal 'em both, and use the metal cover as a makeshift shiv when you go to jail.