Team America: World Police-
Unrated Edition
(Paramount Region 1 NTSC DVD)
(2004)
review by Head Cheeze

I cannot recall a single film that has made me laugh as hard and as often as I did during Trey Parker and Matt Stone's Team America. In the first five minutes alone, my laughter was not only painful (my face and stomach actually ache this morning as I type this) it was the kind of hysterical silent laughter that makes it impossible to breathe, save for the occasional reflexive snort and high pitched wheeze. I could see my girlfriend sinking in her chair as I stared at her, mouth agape, shrieking like a hyena. She was laughing too, but more in spite of herself. You see, she's got these things called morals which preclude her from taking too much enjoyment in the humiliation of people, desecration of places, or just things of questionable taste in general.

Me, I got no problem with that.

The idea for Team America came to Parker and Stone when Parker was shown the classic marionette action series Thunderbirds for the first time merely a year before. He and Stone envisioned remaking one of those bombastic Michael Bay/Jerry Bruckheimer movies using marionettes, and, from that twisted idea, Team America was born. Filled with the same sort of crap dialogue, some of which is actually lifted from the films lampooned here ("I'm sorry babe, I knew this was a one way ticket", "If there's still a world when this is all over, I'd like to buy you a beer.") the film combines fantastic puppetry and miniatures work (truly Oscar worthy stuff in all seriousness) with humour that is often so offensive it makes one doubt their own humanity while they are holding stomachs in full on belly laughter.

The film opens with Team America engaging terrorists in Paris (dressed like they'd just stepped out of the desert, of course) who possess a WMD. As our heroes squash the threat (laying waste to much of Paris in the process), they celebrate, only to lose one of their members when a dying terrorist manages one last act against the infidels ("Derka Derka Derka Jihad!" he cries). Now that the team is one member short, the leader, Spotswoode (who, much like the patriarch of the Thunderbirds, has a drink and cigarette stuck to his puppet hands at all times) seeks out the services of an actor who can help them to infiltrate the terrorist network. Spotswoode doesn't want any ordinary actor, either; he needs the best, and that's why he calls upon Gary Johnston, star of the hit broadway play "Lease" (we catch Gary singing the show's toe-tapping hit song "Everybody has A.I.D.S"). Spotswoode convinces Gary to join Team America, undergo some radical cosmetic surgery to look like a terrorist (which involves shoe polish and randomly glued on tufts of black hair) . He is escorted to Cairo where he infiltrates the terrorist group ("Anyone know of any good terrorist attacks going down?") and finds the location of the WMD's. After a brief chase scene, in which the Sphinx and a couple of pyramids are destroyed, the Team returns to it's base for "debriefing and cocktails". Meanwhile, unbeknownst to them, the real terrorist threat is sitting in his North Korean palace, preparing the biggest terrorist attack in history. Kim Jong Il (voiced by Parker and sounding suspiciously like South Park's Cartman) convinces the liberal leaning Film Actors Guild (F.A.G. for short) that he wants world peace, and that he needs the help of all of the most powerful (and politically motivated) Hollywood actors to help him by appearing at his peace summit. Led by Alec Baldwin, F.A.G. unwittingly plays into Kim Jong Il's plans, and helps to turn the world against Team America! Now it's up to Gary to "out-act" Alec Baldwin in hopes of saving mankind!

Team America is not only hilarious, it's an equal opportunity offender. From obvious targets like Michael Moore (who's two fisted hot dog suicide attack is a highlight) to seemingly innocuous personas such as Matt Damon, Helen Hunt, and George Clooney (who is a friend of the duo and appeared on the South Park series as Stan's gay dog), no politically active voice in Hollywood is spared.

There's also some great music in the tradition of South Park, with a few stand out tracks including the Team America theme song ("America! Fuck Yeah!") as well as "We Need a Montage", a song about how montages are used to show the passage of time, as in training sequences from films like The Karate Kid (sample line; "If You Wanna Go/From a beginner to a pro/You need a montage!"). These songs are all sung by Parker in his trademark over-earnest voice, with 80's style keyboards, screeching guitars, and pounding electronic drumbeats, and, were it not for the lyrics, one could easily mistake these for something out of "Vision Quest" or a similiar crap film of that decade.

And as one would expect from this particular creative team, no offensive stone is left unturned. From an X-rated (puppet) sexual encounter (expanded here, in this unrated edition, to include showers both golden and otherwise) to some truly graphic death scenes, as well as some of the most vulgar dialogue since...well...since their last film, Team America is a hearty "Fuck You" to the politically correct machine.

My only gripe is that Team America, at 100 minutes, runs a bit long, and a few jokes fall flat. I think that if they trimmed it down by about ten minutes, this thing would be the leanest, meanest, crudest mutha-fucking film out there. Still, the barrage of jokes and site gags is non-stop, so when one joke does fall flat, there are usually two or three that have it's back.

The DVD features several featurettes that are as informative and interesting as they are gut-bustingly funny. Parker and Stone guide us through much of the process of making the film, which almost makes up for the lack of a commentary track. The DVD also features some deleted/extended scenes, music videos, and more.

Easily the funniest film of 2004, Team America: World Police is must-see stuff, especially for fans of Parker and Stone's twisted style of humour.