Terror Train
 (1980)
review by Head Cheeze

If Jamie Lee Curtis had a fear of being typecast as a victimized, shrieking and disturbingly boyish looking young adult, she certainly didn't show it during the slasher boom triggered by her first film, 1977's Halloween. Appearing in that film's sequel, as well as Prom Night and The Fog, Curtis padded her resume (but not her ample sized brasierre) with a few decent horror outings, including this amusing and mostly harmless slash-by-numbers fluff ball.

A college fraternity plays a "prank" on a nerdy kid named Kenny Hampson that involves the guy's crush, Alana (Curtis), a borrowed med-lab corpse and some horizontal undead boogie, and results in poor ol' Kenny's extended visit to the nut house. Four years later, the college gang are having a costume graduation party (don't we all?!) aboard a rented and appropriately spooky old train. Alana (Curtis) and her pals are set to party the night away, with the help of bad disco, cheap champagne and the magic of David Copperfield (as The Magician! Weeeeeeeee!)

Soon, however, those responsible for Kenny's lack of a rainbow day are disposed of in inventive and exciting ways. It doesn't take long before everyone realizes that Kenny's back, but after four years in hiding and on a train full of people in costumes, Kenny could be just about anyone!!

Even the train itself!

Well, actually, Terror Train doesn't ever get THAT stupid, but it comes awfully close! Curtis does the deformed-face/quietly terrified thing, the supporting cast of has-beens-who-never-were die effectively enough, and David Copperfield's hair is perfect, but Terror Train never really terrorizes. A more fitting title would have been Mildly Frightening Train but I imagine ticket sales would have suffered, so Terror it was.

Terror Train is one of the few BIG 80's slashers yet to be released on DVD, and has been out of print on VHS for awhile. This is bound to change soon given that virtually every bad movie ever made is popping up on shelves and Terror Train isn't all bad as a slasher film and does double duty as primo party entertainment for when everyone is so drunk they can't be bothered to leave the room.

So there ya go. The key to enjoying Terror Train is liquor and lots of it. Enjoy.