Tony Hawk's Underground 2
(aka; THUG 2)
review by Big McLargehuge

Let me state for the record that I haven’t stood on a skateboard since I was about 12 years old (and that was a hell of a long time ago).

The Tony Hawk line of skateboard games set the standard for console gaming way back on the PS1 and each subsequent release and update increases the franchise hold on the skateboarding game title. Hot on the heels of the first story mode driven title, Tony Hawk’s Underground (which I’ve played exactly once and for under an hour as my friend Bil humiliated me in front of my son and potted plants) comes the sequel appropriately titled Tony Hawk Underground 2. In this version you are whisked away to represent Tony Hawk in a skate competition against Bam Margera; for what it’s worth, Bam chooses a kid in a body cast over you at the beginning of the story so you have a lot of ground to gain if you want to impress your team).

Matches consist of a series of goals established in each of several bazillion cities stretching from Boston to LA. How many cities? I have no idea. I can’t get out of Boston and that’s the first city

Graphics are much improved over the previous TH titles, while game play remains firmly grounded in the button sequences established in the preceding titles. I can’t tell if there are more moves, but I assume there are, because I am such a god-awful player I am surprised at the end of each session when Tony Hawk doesn’t come to my house and offer to kick my ass for being such a goober at a game with his name on it.

God help me but I am just not the audience for this game. I don’t know who any of the characters are that you can unlock, except one, that motorcycle dude from The Discovery Channel show where he… er… welds things… and stuff… Jimmy something.

He rides a rocket powered Segway type scooter in this game.

There are tons of other pro skateboarders that serve as your partners in each of the various cities, and they have their own goals, special tricks, and combos that add an immediate replayability factor to the title. Just because I have no idea who the hell they are doesn’t matter because they have on different clothes than my character does…

Anyway, where was I? Right, my sucking at this game is in no way a fault of the title, it’s me. I don’t get it. I mash buttons with the best of them but the dizzying array of combos and timing needed to pull off those combos just isn’t in my brain. My runs usually look like this, I start skating, I jump, I spin, I splat face first into the ground, repeat… Luckily, THUG2 comes with a detailed book describing a whole host of tricks that should get any normally dexterous person immediately into the game, unfortunately my brain is like a sieve for this sort of information so while I may have memorized the steps to complete a 529 Pineapple Upside Down Cake Japanese Variant Kumonga Ass Blast I forgot my home phone number.

This game is absolutely LOADED with options and modes. In fact, you could spend literally hours customizing every aspect of your skater except penis size, though to be fair that MIGHT be in there. There are enough hats, shoes, shirts, tattoos, beards, pants/shorts, and decorations galore to keep even the most repressed skater dude who longs for little sis’s Barbie collection content to the point of bliss.

Aside from the amazingly fun story mode, there is a classic mode too, where a skater (from their list of a million guys I don’t recognize to a custom guy who looks like me on a skateboard) can attempt to complete a series of complex goals in a short time span without the more fluid game play of the story mode.

Brave players with high-speed Internet connections can also play online. I haven’t done this because the thought of some pre-pubescent kid humiliating me in front of the universe appeals to me about as much as spending an afternoon licking ball sweat off a mountain lion while dressed as a wounded deer.

There is also a great free-skate mode so goobers like me can take their Special Olympics brand of X-Gaming into each environment and learn the layout and practice tricks without the added pressure of set goals and a timer.

The soundtrack may be very good, but I turned off the music before ever playing the game. Why? See, I had Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3 (where I humiliated myself often in the privacy of my office) and had to listen to the same 2 minutes of some NOFX song a million-billion times trying to complete the Canadian park. So with no desire to earworm myself again, I clicked on my own set of tunes and clumsily skated through the various modes of play.

Like I said before the graphics are incredible, easily the most fluid and beautiful I’ve seen in almost any title. The buildings and other doo-dads upon which you jump, spin, and contuse are nearly photo realistic. The draw distance is good too so, for example, a rail looks like a rail when you are really far away, i.e. objects don’t spring to life immediately in front of you.

If you are new to the Tony Hawk games, or an old school combo throwing pro, THUG 2 offers tremendous game play value with zillions of characters, dozens of levels, and several play modes; what more could you ask for?