Wild Zero
(VCD)
(2000)
review by Don't Feed the Dead

ROCK AND ROLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!

If anything, Wild Zero is a very strange movie. Not because of the scripting, or due to horrible acting, but because of the stars of the movie, a real Japanese band, Guitar Wolf. Apparently, this is Japan's answer to "This is Spinal Tap" crossed over with Night of the Living Dead. Decked out in pompadors and leather biker jackets, the trio of Guitar Wolf star as themselves, but are also cast as the zombie killers. My guesstimate is that this is someone's bad acid trip converged into an equally bad horror flick. However, when the two meet, it makes for a good time none the less.

*Note to viewer - either drink heavily or indulge in illegal narcotics before turning this one on.

The movie starts off with our "hero" Ace (nice name, dick) jazzing up and strumming the air guitar in his room before he leaves for a Guitar Wolf concert. We also are informed of a meteorite crash in a suburb city, and see that thousands of ufo's are flying towards Japan. Cut to the concert where Guitar Wolf is performing their hit(?) Jet Generation, to the delight of hundreds of fans. Ace is all hyped up and leaves the floor to seek out the owner of the club to see if he can land a gig there. We also see Guitar Wolf seeking out the owner of the club, but for a different reason. Now, the owner of the club is a freaky muthafucka that is sportin' a bad Patty Duke wig and skin tight leather hoochie shorts, which reinforces my belief that Japanese subculture is strange shit. Enter Guitar Wolf, and a confrontation between the owner and the band ensues. Guns are drawn and a tense moment is interrupted when Ace walks in on the showdown. In a split second, Ace gets punched out by the owner's henchman, somebody's head gets blown off and the owner's fingers on his left hand take an early exit. How this all happened, beats the shit outta me. Guitar Wolf are about to leave when the lead singer, aptly named Guitar Wolf (for confusion purposes) stops over Ace's body, cuts his and Ace's hand, and declares them blood brothers. He also leaves Ace with a cute little whistle and tells him to "blow it" when he's in danger.

It's the next day, and we see a guy run out of the bushes screaming "You want me to do what?!". He's followed out by an attractive young girl, who looks disappointed by something. She begins walking down a long road and eventually ends up at a deserted gas station. We then cut to a group of Japanese flunkees riding down the same road in search of the crashed meteorite. Please pay special attention to the driver of this vehicle, as he is one of the funniest looking people I have ever seen in my life. He's joined by another guy, and his girlfriend, who has an extremely nasty disposition towards men in general. The trio eventually end up at the same gas station as the girl, where the driver loses it and decides he's gonna rob the joint. Armed with 2 butterfly stilettos, he storms the office only to find the girl and a couple of gasoline patrons. Enter Ace, who flings the door open looking to buy some gas, inadvertently breaking the armed robber's nose and saving the day. The robber flees with his two buddies and they drive off to a remote lake location to regain their wits.

Cut back to the dirt road where we see a couple of gangsters cruising in a Mercedes. They come upon a group of people just standing in the middle of the road. Cut again to a woman dressed in army fatigues, standing next to a humvee, waiting for someone. Cut back to the gangsters, where one of them exits the Mercedes to confront the group of bystanders, but something is awry - the people are green and bloodied! AAAAAGGGHHH!!! Attack of the bad FX Zombies!!! The gangster is mauled by the group of bloodthirsty zombies, and rather than driving away , the driver panics and blows his brains out. We then see the woman in the fatigues get fed up and drive away. We're now back at the gas station where Ace is solidifying a relationship with the young girl. Apparently, Ace has another Guitar Wolf concert to attend and he rushes off. Whilst on his way to the concert, Ace notices that there are strange acting people. He gets a little closer to the folk and finds out that these people are indeed murderous zombies. So against his better judgment, Ace goes back to save the girl from the zombies that are well on their way to the gas station. Ace successfully reaches the girl and the two hide out in a deserted building. The movie reaches a romantic point when Tobio, the girl, disrobes and offers herself to Ace. But, uh-oh! Tobio has a male set of bits and pieces! Ace freaks out and takes off again, locking himself in a room away from Tobio and the oncoming zombies. He blows his little whistle that Guitar Wolf gave him and then hunkers down to take on the zombie horde. What lies in store for our transsexual lovin' Rock and Roll hero?

While Wild Zero presents a rather captivating storyline, the execution part lacks in that every time you turn your head and think that this is a successful zombie movie, Guitar Wolf shows up and adds the extra queer flare that puts this movie in the "icky" zone. You know what I'm talking about, the kind of flick that you almost feel embarrassed to watch and that you ridicule, even though you enjoyed the majority of it. Not enough to want to make one shower, but enough to leave the bragging rites to someone you can point and laugh at. Aside from the whole Guitar Wolf issue, the acting in this movie is pretty solid and the FX team did a nice job with the exploding zombie heads. The UFO's, explosions and zombie make-up was a bit on the Ed Wood side, but I didn't spot any oatmeal faced baddies in this flick. Masashi Endo does a wonderful job of playing a Bruce Campbell type hero as Ace, successfully mocking the James Dean hero role and ending up with a great amount of funny spots (watch for his great escape on the wicked fast moped!).

If I were running a Tour-de-Tokyo horror fest, this movie would fall behind in ranks to Audition, but definitely cast ahead of Ringu.