X2:
X-Men United
(2003)
review by Red Velvet Kitchen

Chances are there's been a time in your life when you've been surrounded by a gaggle of people who's intelligence is subpar to your own. Knee-deep in kneejerk responses, half-formed thoughts and raging simplifications you use phrases like "juxtaposition" whilst they spout a seemingly endless volley of "like" and "y'know". Or do you? Because this is a minor crisis. Do you dumb yourself down to their level and enjoy this slackjawed moment, do you wax lyrical and risk alienating them whilst simaltaneously embarassing yourself, or do you just bite your tongue and sit out this round? Because this is the overriding feeling I got from X-Men 2, not that I'm equating it with a person of plummeting IQ, but it's just so brazen, so obvious, so linear and so one-dimensional, that I couldn't help but feel left wanting. On the other hand however it's only a comic book movie, which are not noted for their intricate dissection at the quarterly meetings of the Fabian Society. So, what do you do? Answer: You check your reservations in at the door, pick them up at the end and bitch all the way home, keeping secret the fact that at least one of your buttcheeks was kicked, if not actually the whole ass.

Let's face things, this film should probably be called "X-Men: The Proper Version", because the first one was little more than an expensive trailer. A nice-looking one with some nifty set-pieces and one star-marking turn (I'm saluting towards you Jackman), but certainly a taster for more substantial later feasts. And indeed we do have more. The film opens with an impressive set-piece in which a barely-glimpsed Nighcrawler takes out a whole legion of bodyguards, before confronting the President himself. Although the big man comes away unscathed, this creates further friction in the burgeoning conflict between man and mutant, something Brian Cox's Stryker aims to straighten out by targeting Proffessor X's Cerebro machine, which tracks mutants whilst offering all a trippy lightshow. He plans to uncover all the mutants for his evil ends, whilst we cut between Storm and Jean Grey's search for the elusive Nightcrawler, several limp love subplots, the pleasing, lingering smell of Magneto's imminent escape, and Wolverine's quest to find out his origins.

When I say we get more, the first noticeable thing we get more of is aggression. This film is actually pretty damn violent, with one or two glimpses of good old fashioned cruelty. Although relatively bloodless, the impact of this newfound brutality is pleasing enough to merit a medium gore setting. Characters are also allowed more space to breath: The interplay between Stewart and McKellan is acutely effective, we get exciting glimpses of characters to come (Pyro and Colossus, but where's Gambit and Beast damnit?) and Jackman again stomps his wildman act all over the scenery. X2 is brasher, more confident, and maintains that jolting feeling that we're steadily hurtling towards something truly epic just out of shot.

Whilst a common complaint of the first film was a lack of an involving plot and the sparse, almost gimmicky use of particular characters, it would perhaps be too easy to say X-Men 2 tries too much. Unlike Spiderman, X2 has to juggle a roster of talent, both virtuous and evil, whilst retaining those socipolitical undercurrents which distinguish it from any other franchise. So, the stakes are higher naturally, and Bryan Singer et al, have a lot more to do. The actual problem here is that far too much time and apparent effort is devoted to chemistry and equilibrium, that magic balance between character, kickass action, comment and visual exuberance, so ultimately things feel complete but thinly spread, rather than fractured but satisfyingly meaty. Enjoy what you can though because that's what the film excels at, the dynamics between not only the narrative and the characters, but also the visuals and the feel, the look and tone, the simplicity of a quick pan around Wolverine's hulking frame, acquiesing with the relative complexity of so many disparate threads. It's a genuinely pleasant surprise that everything is so fluid; no action scene misplaced or long overdue, few characters underused (although to be fair, Marsden's Cyclops hardly has the compelling human story of a Wolverine, the psychological presence of Magneto, or the aesthetic smack of Nightcrawler, and Paquin's Rogue is a pretty damn useless mutant if you think about it for about three seconds), no switch from plots are jarring or confusing, and most important of all, this film is quite the mover, expertly dashing out a cool shot, followed by a neat set-piece, followed by some exploratory dialogue. This film is never boring; but, and this is a minature monolith of a reservation, it is never compelling either. The eyes are entertained, the brain sits lazily, the legs begin to fall asleep.

When I mention that too much time is devoted to chemistry, I also concede that so much is absent. There is no discernible setting or context for the film, with highkicks, adamantium piercings and laser bolts filling a void that scenes as fascinating as X-Men's prison camp opening, or as timely as the Statue of Liberty climax could have filled. The story exists in a vacuum, with the real world floating by harmlessly. Which in fact contradicts what's so special about the whole comic book tingle: Their interstellar existence within the normality of our own everyday routine. It's that clash between the fantastical and the mundane, the exuberant and the normal, the flashing brilliance of the light versus the dull shades of dark. Our world is never impinged upon, issues are barely brushed let alone shoulder-charged, and that great parallel between what the film construes as 'mutants' and what we see as good ol' prejudice, is sadly lacking. This film is far broader than it should be, and Singer should realise that an incisive snarl delivered by the masterful Mckellen or a sudden switch in seriousness sticks in longer and is more affecting for the film and audience alike, than another explosion, chase or tamely tense moment. Such a light touch renders redundant the balance between good and evil which all comics rely on. And if you're not going to be conventional, explore that thin line between Magneto and Professor X.

Ultimately, X2 only succeeds on a pretty limited level. It's entertaining, but I can't help but feel I'm permanently on the cusp of something truly exciting or touching or daring happening. And waiting, no matter what revelations or explosions are tossed in our general direction whilst you're doing it, is no substitute for pure impact. X2 chooses broad strokes everytime. It's failure to last longer than when you pick up your cynicism from where you left it at the door is it's biggest flaw. Sure it's essentially fantasy, but that doesn't mean the blood, sweat and tears should be washed out so easily.

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