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30 Girls 30 Days

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Directed by: 
Michael Mahal
Lena Ajans Mitchell
Krystal Rene Barnard
Sandi Bernard
Bottom Line: 

30 girls in thirty days? Do I smell a wager? From Troma films comes this coming of age fusion of teenage sexual hijinks for the sake of both fun and profit.  While in the interest of proper product labeling I would like to suggest that a more accurate title for this might have been “82 minutes and sixty breasts” but most films I review don’t bear such a meticulous accounting of their content. Let us take a look at this teenage look at a month of love and “bet” on whether it has any semblance of an entertainment payout. Sadly, it would seem the “odds” are against this.

This is the story of a lovable loser virgin named Fred who has the misfortune (or is it exceptional luck?) to become acquainted with two miserable mob douchebags named Nico and Alex who will bet large sums of money on absolutely nothing. Through a chance, happenstance occurrence they run into Fred at a casino and decide that their next wager will be to bet $250,000 on whether he can have sex with 30 girls in 30 days.  Oddly enough, the money is just the exact amount that Fred’s parents need to save their business from foreclosure “at midnight”.  To fully enjoy this film you must fully enjoy a wanton teenage boys testosterone expression as he is lost in a “save the mill” “lose my virginity” plotline that exists somewhere in every other sex comedy from the eighties.  Also the fact that such an impromptu contest would be almost impossible to monitor and score accurately should also be something you can personally overlook as a viewer in order to get the full “bang for your buck” in this film.

Assuming you are still reading this let me say that the film is passed with scenes of Fred accosting numerous girls on the street using the most clichéd pickup lines imaginable and occasionally meeting success with a girl or two, followed by a scene of frenzied, madcap soft-core sex with them.  As he develops a technique and a reputation as a shameless gigolo he eventually falls in love with one of the “nicer” girls named Veronica and then has a difficult decision to make-at least he might in a plot driven film. Surprisingly, Veronica is incredibly “cool with the game” and as such even helps him seduce the last few women on the final day which may just help put him over the line. Yet all is not as simple as it appears. Due to the fact that his mob buddy game masters Nico and Alex are actually murderous douchebags who have run afoul of even more dangerous criminals, there may a different ending in store for Fred that he didn’t “bargain for”. 

I wanted to like this film. I had hopes it would all play out like a gonzo version of “CRUEL INTENTIONS” which was one of my favorite contemporary flicks that depicted the discovery of “romantic” love from the crucible of loveless seduction and evil power games played by youth. Where this really fell short for me is that the character of Fred simply was ultimately more unlikable at the conclusion as he seemed to grow (mutate actually) from virgin to shameless sleazebag with nary a stop in between and as such, he never quite let you identify with him, let alone root for him on his unconventional conquest.  I can’t say that this film was offensive, (I have long lost the ability to say that about any film by now and not be laughed off of the web) but I can’t imagine how they somehow captured the odyssey of a simple teenager as he had adult relations with a truckload of women and never stopped once for any moment of “mature content” at least when it came to the emotional shit that real life relationships are made of.  This is a pandering teenage boy’s fantasy set to celluloid that never truly aspires to win hearts and minds; only the impossible wager of its own contrived impossible plot.

30 Girls in 30 Days, unless you like R rated/B-movie breast parades it will seem much longer than this. Fortunately, such breast heavy, brain dead films are easy to review and always get two skulls. Even so I have admittedly seen breast cancer self-examination videos with better plots than this.

Extras include: Trailers from other Troma films, a slide show and a short two minute telethon of sorts where Lloyd Kaufman himself plays a lowly beggar who desperately urges you to support independent film, (namely Troma).

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