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Beyond Fucked: A Zombie Odyssey

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Release Date: 
Smash Pictures
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Directed by: 
Tommy Pistol
Bonnie Rotten
Nikki Hearts
Phoenix Askani
Bottom Line: 

One thing that is highly sought after by collectors of American adult film is movies that contain scenes of action drama, a.k.a. (onscreen non-sexualized violence) as well as the expected shots of penetration.  Most movie collectors realize that except for a few classic titles, the simple fact remains that usually moment when actual depictions of sex are shown in a movie, the time, budget and running time devoted to actual plot development just tends to completely evaporate. Furthermore, while most adult films attempt some semblance of plot these days, the one thing that is seldom seen is an original story based on horror, because realistic violence (which is repellant) and actual sex (which is attractive) are an insanely difficult formula to create onscreen in the hope of creating a movie that isn’t constantly at odds with itself and schizophrenic in its tone to the point of becoming a sick cinematic carousel of blood and cum covered body parts all rendered in a meaningless montage of meat. This is why when I got the following original (not parody) X rated horror movie I asked myself, could this possibly be the type of film that would offer my horrorview audience the most hardcore viewing experience possible that bashes them in the brain even as it tickles them in the naughty bits? Perhaps it was too much to hope for but for now let us look as BEYOND FUCKED and see if we can’t find some redemption for it.

In the immediate future a miracle drug will be developed that will be designed to help combat obesity.  Yet as you can imagine by now, by every sci-movie about a “cure-all” in pill form since Soylent Green (1973) the side effects are rather problematic. Predictably, the cure is worse than the disease as everyone who takes it becomes a vicious flesh eating zombie. During the onset of this pandemic we are introduced to Bonnie, she is a young lady who already looks like a tattooed apocalypse doll from the first frame of the film.  No sooner does she have actual squirting, aggressive sex with her boyfriend Tommy when their nanny, Cathy breaks through the door and attacks them. Her boyfriend is bitten, but Bonnie escapes trouble and the movie fast forwards 6 years.  Now that the plague is in full swing, it seems there is a shortage of uninfected men and much like gasoline was in the ROAD WARRIOR or dirt was to WATERWORLD, sperm is now the precious coin of the realm in this strange “after the crash” world.  Can Bonnie collect enough samples to save humanity?  Just one look at her picture on the box art and let me say that it seems like the mission she was born for.

It seems like a fairly decent plot for a horror/porn original work but there are a few problems. For one thing, the main plot I have given to you was largely copied from the back of the DVD box rather than inferred from watching the entire film which is fortunate because the search for splooge samples seems to actually be a sub-plot for this film.  Bonnie admittedly does pursue a mission in this film, but it is more of a personal journey designed to bring herself some emotional closure at the loss of her dead boyfriend, Tommy.  What does she do? Only the most fucked up thing possible in this undead infested world.  You figure it out. Yet the campaign of collecting man seed for medical purposes is never fully explained, though it is suggested that a sequel to this story will explain it further…

Another problem arises when it appears that at least three of the film’s sex separate scenes all take place in the same room in the same tiny metal bed. Of course I am willing to forgive them somewhat for this slight as it seems most individual seasons of THE WALKING DEAD are also shot on a single “usually barricaded” location and the show is probably more atmospheric for it so I am willing to ignore it here.  Finally, it seems that at least one of the sex scenes has nothing to do with the rest of the film, starring two people we had yet to meet in the story who didn’t have the slightest tangential relation to the plot, the existing characters or anything going on at that time.  I have always thought that good porn should make you feel many intense sensations, but certainly never confusion over the plot.

Still this is being trite. For those of you who like zombies, pornography and a cinematic hot mess that is one part B movie and one part adult film, don’t let my critique scare you away.  The women in this film, while beautiful and feminine all have the tattoos, attire and punkish/heavy metal attire that immediately reminded me of the raider chicks from the FALLOUT 3 video game.  Also, the creature makeup for the zombies was incredibly convincing and for once, didn’t drip and smudge everywhere (which is rare in a sex film). The gore is also refreshingly low tech and syrupy. Despite the old school creature effects, the sex is incredibly wet and filthy and the various porn starlets in this film make up for their lack of porn notoriety by their sheer on-screen intensity.  While I personally would have liked this better if they would have developed a plot worthy of an actual non sex film (or at least stuck to the premise they actually stated on the back of the box) I think this adult film featuring elements of a mainstream “action drama” works in some fashion, and I for one will keep an eye on this studio’s future releases. This film may not be the perfect product that combines actual sex and sci-fi violence in a perfect storm of original (non-parody ) horrorporn that some of us have wanted for so long, but there indeed moments of this film that are truly nastier than your average R rated fleshfeast…

Extras include long play or wall to wall sex versions of the story, behind the scenes, photo slide show and a collection of trailers. Check it out at the Smash Pictures site! 

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