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Blood and Sex Nightmare

Review by: 
Catwalk
Release Date: 
2008
Studio: 
Bloody Earth Films
Genre: 
Horror
Format: 
DVD
Region: 
0 NTSC
Aspect Ratio: 
1.33:1
Directed by: 
Joseph R. Kolbek
Cast: 
Julia M. Morizawa
Andy McGuinness
Movie: 
0
Extras: 
1
Bottom Line: 
0

Having a stalker isn’t always as bad as it sounds.  Sure, you may need a restraining order, and there’s always the problem with cleaning up whatever they left in the bushes.  Still, they don’t usually get brave enough to feel you up, chop you into pieces and then do the same to your friends.  Then again, they’re not all Felix Gallo.
 
Blood and Sex Nightmare is a film about an out of the way swinger ranch where the would-be playmates are going missing and then found in pieces.  As the Freeling family learned in Poltergeist, it’s a good idea to known the history of your land before you build on it.  In this case, the Pleasure Mountain Adult Retreat is atop the site where serial rapist Gallo committed suicide.
 
Meet Amy and Nick – a young couple with completely different views on sex.  Nick (Guinness) decides that since Amy has time off from work for a funeral, they should go to a sex resort.  Amy (Morizawa) reluctantly agrees.  (All this happens while Nick apparently has satellite radio tuned to the “other stuff Bloody Earth Films has for sale” channel.)
 
Nick’s about as smooth as an SOS pad.  So, we hop from his lopsided pick-up lines to a fat photographer and his topless bondage model.  After a bit of gratuitous dildo sucking, the cameraman runs off into the woods to get his dick chopped off to a keyboard loop from a second rate 80’s synthpop band.  Naturally, his removed manhood winds up exactly where you’d expect.
 
Because the film needs some semblance of plot to explain all the S&M butchery, Amy’s psychic powers kick in and she has nightmare visions of Gallo’s ghost.  There’s also an obligatory peculiar old guy.  Every film has to have one of those, right?  I mean “you’re doomed…you’re all doomed!”
 
The film then hops into some sit-com spanking session complete with laugh track. Then there are some full-frontal jumping jacks, incendiary panties, and a couple of power chords for emphasis.  By now, viewers should be getting the rhythm of the film.  It’s nightmare-horrid attempt at getting laid-blood drenched murder-creepy old guy, lather, rinse, repeat.
 
Unless, I left out the ghost who shoots blood out of his cock and the stoners, I think we’re done here.  This is a gorefest for lowbrow teen audiences bent on catching an eyeful of pussy and a bucketful of body parts.  Not for the squeamish or the prude.
 
Extras include trailers for Psycho Kickboxer: The Dark Angel, American Punks and other movies shot for zero bucks and aimed at gore to the extreme.
 
(Research note – there is a Felix Gallo who worked on the Kevin Spacey film, Beyond the Sea.  From what I can tell, he’s not related to the rubber masked handjob killer in this film.)

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