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Cheezy Exploitation

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Cheezy Flicks
Vintage Movie Trailers
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One bad thing about having so many movies as I do (aside from the fact that every fool and his brother wants to borrow them) is that guests often come to your place demanding, all but expecting to be entertained. Yet because I am a stubborn, fringe misanthrope who hates being pressured to do anything, I usually just put one of my many canned collection of trailers (commercials for films) in the player beforehand, telling my guests that if they insist on turning my home and film collection into their own private Redbox, I insist that in a nod to tradition they must have the “Full Hollywood Theater experience” and must sit through the film advertisements first, (all ninety minutes of them).  If they start to complain about this realistic theater nuance I tell them that they should just shut the hell up while the refreshments are still free and not $6.00 a bottle as they are in an actual theater. In time all of my friends learn not to talk out of turn, and especially not during the main feature.  Under the advice of my attorney I will not actually say what may happen to all friends and guests who are not silent during a film, but let’s just say that more than exit sign may flash red that day…and more than popcorn may be spilled.

The reason for this unwarranted and needless self-disclosure about my low threshold for interpersonal annoyance or a commentary about the inherent rudeness of my friends (most of whom who I don’t even really like, truth be told) is the fact that there really isn’t much to talk about with this product. It is a collection of trailers with no narrator, or announcer which would give the program a historical perspective.  The manufacturer, Cheezy Flicks has a series of trailer DVD’s for every possible genre of film, from action  to horror to sci-fi and aside from a loosely based collections of film “coming attractions” loosely cobbled together in order of film release, the collection bears little rhyme or reason. Because this is the sexploitation volume, let us just list all of the films sampled (in order).

Slaves in Bondage (1937)

Pin Down Girls (1951)

Assassin Of Youth (1937)

The Lash of the Penitents (1936)

She Shoulda said ‘No’! (1949) 

Sex Madness (1938)

A Taste of Flesh (1967)

Tomorrow’s Children (1934)

Rat Fink (1965)

Glenn or Glenda (1953)

I Passed for White (1960)

The Cocaine Fiends (1935)

Striporama (1953)

Hitler’s Captive Women (1944)

Slaves of The Soviet Union (1944)

His Wife’s Habit (1970)

Satan in High Heels (1962)

Female Fiends (1958)

Student Nurses (1970)

Wild in The Streets (1968)

Slave Girl (1946)

Caged Heat (1974)

Satan’s Sadists (1969)

Macumba Love 1960)

War Goddess (1973)

Switchblade Sisters (1975)

Super Vixens (1975)

Myra Breckinridge (1970)

The Glory Stompers (1967)

Weekend with The Babysitter (1970)

Psych-out (1968)

The Trip (1967)

Reform School Girls (1986)

Bury Me An Angel (1972)

Angel’s Wild Women (1972)

Let Me Die a Woman (1977)

I don’t suppose that it should come as any great surprise that most of the films mentioned here look like a product catalogue from Alpha Video-“The public domain people”, and sadly the quality of the trailers themselves is incredibly spotty, even more that you would expect them to some thirty years later.  Case in point, the trailer for “Bury Me An Angel” was also offered on the Full Moon Grindhouse collection reviewed here only there it looked like it was of a much higher quality version of the clip itself.

Unless you are a secretly cruel bastard like me who enjoys forcing uninvited guests to watch undesired things as a form of private psychological experiment, this is probably not worth much to you. But if you do like using your DVD player as an instrument of public torture as well as private amusement the running time is actually fifteen minutes longer than the box art states so you can show your friends the slipcase, reassuring them that you will “play the good stuff” after this hour sampler, knowing fully well that few friends will remain awake or stay long enough to see 73 minutes of this cinematic offal that screams the virtues of “coming attractions” that will never actually begin. Despite this inherent paradox, I personally happen to like DVD’s of cinema filler material, but this one gives no meaning to the term “trailer” as it lags and drags behind all others in my collection-art imitating life at its basest form.

Special features include Intermission shorts and still more trailers of other Cheezy Flick DVD’s. Say it isn’t so!

It seems the world is full of $2.99 movies….and this is another one.

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