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Cosplay Fetish Battle Drones

Review by: 
Struggled Reagans
Release Date: 
Collage Fossil
Aspect Ratio: 
Directed by: 
Gregg Golding
Kawal Arora
Aleksey Calvin
Mark Edwards
Bottom Line: 

While I am hardly known for presenting reviews of mainstream film fare that can be appreciated by cult film goers of all ages, (let alone purchased without an valid adult I.D.), every once in a while even I get a title that forces me to redefine even what I might call an insane, hypersexual film with questionable social value. When I saw this title, I figured it had to be the work of Giga, a Japanese studio that specializes in nothing but live action adult films of nothing but scantily clad copyrighted cartoon girls battling latex tentacle monsters and usually losing the fight, starting with their clothes…Here is a link to this studio so you don’t think I am making it up. While I hate to assume something about a film, I review with a name like COSPLAY FETISH BATTLE DRONES, even I thought was safe in assuming this would be some sort of weird adult film for kids from the nineties (adults now) who often wondered about the sexual proclivities of The Power Rangers. This film is so much more than a simple adult film, and by that I mean even though there are actually pixelated sex acts throughout its duration, it is not to say this is a film that plays to fanboy fetishism.  Oh, no it is much more bizarre and incomprehensible than that.  Let us look at the fucked up mash up of COSPLAY FETISH BATTLE drones, and ponder what happens when the Power Rangers stop somersaulting around to guitar power chords and instead start “jumping” each other.

It should be noted that there is a plot to this, the six hipster “Struggled Reagans” are all the victim of some past trauma (In one case a female ranger is raped by a fellow female ranger with a zucchini). This trauma gives them powers, which evidence themselves through moments of intuition, extremely long scenes pretentious philosophizing about nothing at all, and the ability to have acrobatic fights with a monster. In true Power Ranger fashion at one point in the film they combine themselves into a bigger robot which can only be described as an exact G1 transformers “Megatron” costume with a new paint scheme.  (If you pause it you can even see where they scratched the Deceptigon logo off the chest).

Of course, I never pick on a film just because it is cheap, and public access special effects aside, the film is largely uneven.  In true Tokusatsu fashion it seems our young costumed heroes are battling a cosmic tumor in the space time continuum. Fine whatever, but considering that every single character has an incomprehensible (and face it, clinically insane) view of the world, it is hard to tell why they are ultimately quarreling with each other, the monster who wears a suit of many google eyes or the Blue Hindu God who talks down to them even as he gives them clues which will ultimately aid them in their quest.  The momentum of the plot never movies in a single linear direction and instead just spirals randomly like an LSD hallucination  and nothing happens without some degree of erotic, violent or disgusting event (usually all three) incorporating itself into a scene.

This is one of those films that is so abstract that it cannot be attacked by critics, who review things analytically, a trap I fell into once over a particularly shit film from Troma and will not fall into again.  If I were to talk about the non-linear, nonsensical nature of this film, there are those who would say I am too old, uptight, closed minded, or stodgy to understand it. Fans of the film (or the director himself) would further claim they weren’t trying to make a normal film here, that the random, meaningless nature of it is actually a symbolic commentary about how childhood utopia (represented by Power Rangers) and twentysomething angst (represented by young, random mentally ill dirt bags), are the true schism (or tumor) our modern world.  Perhaps it is a commentary about growing up? Who fucking knows? I don’t admittedly, yet I would bet my film collection that that that the director doesn’t either.

I will say one positive thing for this DVD and with all due reverence. From the ambient “blendo” animation of the title credits, to the immature pajama clad Power Ranger inspired slap fights, all the way down to the actual scenes of pixelated penetration among the principals, this is truly something I haven’t seen before. Truly, I have never reviewed anything remotely like it, and probably never will again, at least until Giga starts sending movies as I have requested them to, instead of just emailing me a reply that roughly translated to “There is no possible supply of the free product for you, round eyed, watcher of the pervert film.” in a litany of scolding, scalding incomprehensible Japanese.

Special features include Crew interviews, Trailer and Adult Commentary. 

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