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Curse of the Cannibal Confederates

Review by: 
Catwalk
AKA: 
Curse of the Screaming Dead
Release Date: 
1982
Studio: 
Troma
Genre: 
Com/Horror
Format: 
DVD
Region: 
0 NTSC
Aspect Ratio: 
1.33:1
Directed by: 
Tony Malanowski
Cast: 
Steve Sandkuhler
Christopher Gummer
Movie: 
0
Extras: 
0
Bottom Line: 
0

 A group of rednecks travel on a trip to drink and hunt and wind up attacked by a bunch of dead Confederate soldiers. Or at least, some stiff guys in corpse paint. If they traded in the rebel uniforms for a keyboard player, they could easily be mistaken for a Scandinavian death metal band.
 
The first act introduces drunken rednecks, including a kleptomaniac, and their three women. The blonde, Sarah (Bach) leads the pack for horrific acting, only differing from the zombies because she’s not in the rebel uniform. The other two women are oriental sisters; the harsh older one, and the young blind whiner.
 
What’s important about these characters? The klepto is going to steal something and screw up, the blond is going to push everyone too far, and as everyone knows, blind people know everything about zombies.
 
To review, three rednecks, a blonde and two oriental women walk into the woods. If it had been a bar, there would have been a punchline.
 
For entertainment purposes, character names were wiped out and replaced with the following:
Wyatt – Jeff Lynne
Mel – Frank Zappa
Bill – Greg Allman
Sarah – Sally Struthers
Lin – Pai Mei
Kiyomi – Ziyi Zhang
 
It doesn’t take very long (thankfully) for the klepto to wander into a graveyard and mess with the wrong objects and wake the dead. It takes forever for him to wander around the graveyard. Clearly, the filmmakers saw this place and decided to build a movie around a shelled out old building. The result is as hollow as the old buildings themselves.
 
The zombies attack and are fought off by the gun-toting rednecks. There’s a lot of wrestling, and the zombies repeatedly say “oof”. After that comes the gunplay. The resulting exploding heads look a lot like pumpkins on fire. Everyone is extremely calm about the fact that the dead not only walk, but continually chase after them through incredibly different camera shots that make day, dusk, night and morning interchangeable.
 
When the cops show up, it explains why the town is screwy. Deputy Franklin (Bumb Roberts) is attacked and screams like a little girl. He’s not eaten by the attacking zombie though, because the zombie’s rubber mask has no functioning mouth. Lucky Bumb. One of the cops is chewed apart, though his entrails are repeatedly pulled from the outside of his shirt which isn’t even torn.
 
This is followed by a 744 minute scene of the zombies fake-chewing on fake entrails.
 
The zombies are led by a general (who I’m pretty sure is Gummer) in complete white face, including his beard. He mimes instructions to the soldiers and they comply. It’s the silent general who provides the moral of the story; don’t steal or dead rebels will eat your friends.
 
“Curse” is the movie every young horror fan aspires to shoot when they walk through an old graveyard in the woods. Except that it contains bad acting, bad effects and no scares or humor. Aside from that, it’s pretty good.
 
Poor video quality makes the film dark and grainy, due to its budget and time period. However, Charlie Barnett’s original score is decent. It’s hacked up pretty badly by the editing though.
 
The film was also released in 1982 by Little Warsaw Productions as The Curse of the Screaming Dead or Curse of the Confederate Cannibals. The Troma release adds the zombies to the opening credits, making them even less effective in the movie. This would steal all the shock value out of the film, but unless viewers suffer from Scandinavian-death-metal-band-a-phobia, then everyone is safe.
 
Extras include only scene selection and a trailer.

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