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Deadly Daphne's Revenge

Review by: 
Catwalk
Release Date: 
1987
Studio: 
BCI/Eclipse
Genre: 
Horror
Format: 
DVD
Region: 
0 NTSC
Aspect Ratio: 
1.33:1
Directed by: 
Richard Gardner
Cast: 
Anthony Holt
Laurie Tait Partridge
John Suttle
Movie: 
0
Extras: 
0
Bottom Line: 
0

 Maybe I’m just a crazy horror movie reviewer. Maybe I’m in no position to give free advice to readers. I’ve certainly never been a blonde hitchhiking teenage girl in this world or any other, so my perspective is from the outside…BUT…there are a certain set of actions that no self-respecting person would ever perform. When Cindy (Partridge) jumps into an RV with four middle-age guys, they immediately take her in the wrong direction. As a result, she decides to drink tequila and smoke pot until she’s out of it.
 
Bright girl, that Cindy…
 
The movie sets the tone when Charlie (Holt) drops anti-Semitic and racist remarks within the first four minutes. His three supporting buddies, the white knight who really didn’t do it, the jewish lawyer, and the Hispanic “whatever you say Charlie” guy, don’t help matters at all. Instead, Charlie rapes the teenage hitchhiker and she follows by filing rape charges against the entire group.
 
On a side note, teenager is used as liberally in this review as it was in the Aaron Spelling series, Beverly Hills 90210. The teenage Cindy is played by an apparently 40-year old actress, who puts her hair up in a ponytail to drop 20-years off her life. However, having her pants hiked up really high makes her ass look dreamy.
 
On a second side note, a great cameo makes the most memorable note to this film when James Avery (The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) appears as a police detective for all of 14 seconds.
 
The movie spirals downward from a cheap ass shot to a murder mystery with hit men, suicides, lawyers, and bad camera angles, all driven by Holt, appearing as a fully-bearded Charlie Daniels circa 1978. The only thing missing from this movie was a voiceover by Wolfman Jack.
 
So where does Daphne fit in to all of this? She appears in the intro, with a voiceover depicting that she’s escaped the mental hospital. As it turns out, she had an affair with Charlie in the past and shows up to get revenge. This is revealed through exponential dialogue over an hour into the movie. The payoff pitch isn’t much better.
 
The easiest way to make this movie work is to mentally replace Charlie with Will Ferrell in the famed SNL Blue Oyster Cult “More Cowbell” sketch, and the hitman with a late 70’s Michael Bolton.
 
The DVD features no extras, just the movie itself, with scene selection and a trailer. 

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