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Die You Zombie Bastards!

Review by: 
Shiv Timberwolf
Release Date: 
Odeon Entertainment
Aspect Ratio: 
Directed by: 
Caleb Emerson
Lloyd Kaufman
Paul Leary
Hasil Adkins
Jamie Gillis
Bottom Line: 

“Do you know what I love?”
“Rubber dicks?”
“Well yes, but that’s not what I was going to say-“
“Rubber dicks slathered to the hilt with peanut butter?”

All the way through watching Die You Zombie Bastards! I kept thinking to myself, "How on earth am I going to describe this?" I still haven't come up with a good answer; DYZB! is pretty much indescribable. The best I can do is come up with a melting pot description, so let’s throw in Austin Powers, Orgazmo, and a selection of Troma movies. Now boil all that down into concentrated liquid form, and knock it back in a shot glass with a slice of lemon and a slap ‘round the face with a wet haddock.

The movie opens on our cannibalistic serial killer antihero Red as he prepares to dispatch a young couple making out in the forest. Touched by their love, he decides to let them live and go murder some “dirty hippies” instead. He's a lovable serial killer with heart, see? Later, Red is enjoying a romantic yet gruesome picnic with his wife Violet, chewing on a decapitated head and smearing blood all over themselves as a family nearby try to shield their young children from the gruesome sight. But the picnic is ruined when Violet is kidnapped by the strange, alien-looking Baron Nefarious. Thus Red dons his superhero outfit, complete with severed phallus and a cloak made from human flesh, beginning his arduous quest and journey to rescue his beloved wife.

DYZB! is so tongue in cheek that it's torn through the cheek and is currently wrapped tightly around the throat. With intentionally hammy and overplayed acting, low quality 8mm film shooting, and sub-standard audio mixing, this 2005 movie plays like a loving tribute from director/writer Caleb Emerson to the B-movies of the early 80s. The whole thing feels very comic-book and overblown, with every dial is turned up to 11. Through the course of the movie we are treated to such sights as three zombie women pounding an oversized phallus with hammers, a cheese demon, nipple twanging, and the most random finale you can imagine.

“I studied film…I had a blast learning about the “art” of moviemaking, but I didn’t really learn the nuts and bolts of putting a feature together. So after graduating I did what any self-respecting B-movie fanatic would do; I went to work for Troma”
 –Caleb Emerson as quoted in Fangoria magazine #260

Don't expect quality when you come to DYZB!, the story barely holds together, there is no logic displayed at any point throughout the movie, and there is certainly no hidden message or social commentary. This is all just completely mindless, utterly enjoyable puerile fun.

There are two extras on this release. Firstly, a 41m Behind the Scenes featurette that is basically just footage from a second camera on set. Don’t expect to be taught anything here, but it will give you an idea of what the actual filming experience was like.  The second extra is a ten minute featurette entitled Dark New England is an interview with Caleb Emerson talking about his filmmaking style. Annoyingly this second extra is padded out by a lengthy title sequence, a trailer, and cuts from the behind the scenes featurette. Oh, and there’s also a trailer in the Special Features list.

Die You Zombie Bastards! is the antidote to serious zombie movies. Overflowing with absurdity and intentionally hammy acting, and sporting a great soundtrack which consists mainly of songs with the same title as the movie, this is a perfect choice for a hilarious beer-fuelled Friday night in with some mates. Unless you're the kind of person who is put off by regular appearances of rubber phalluses, random topless women, and cheesy nipple mutilation (that's mutilating nipples with cheese), in which case I suggest you advance rapidly in the opposite direction.


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