It’s gratuitous nudity time here as viewers get a chance to watch a film with hardly any story, even less dialogue, and a grocery list of problems. Dorm of the Dead is built entirely on topless girls and annoying music. The camera work is annoying, the plot is nowhere to be found, and characters come and go with no importance at all.
The film is a cast of young girls willing to get topless in front of a camera, with the worst blend of shallow dialogue and corn syrup used to get them there. Jackey Hall (Claire) may be the worst actress I’ve ever seen, and I’ve sat through enough Troma releases to fill a week end-to-end. Andrea Ownbey may have stage fright countered with massive amounts of drug usage before filming. That’s the only explanation I could muster. When the pair are chewing through dialogue and walking mindlessly down hallways at odd camera angles, it’s like outtakes of “The Real Life”.
Tifanny Shepis (Ted Bundy, Pauly Shore is Dead) plays Amy, the hot girl who just can’t stop making out with other chicks. This is first evidenced by her grinding scene with another woman, wherein she removes no clothing. Maybe she just can’t find the mood with the Tokyo lollipop anime music playing in the background.
Anyway, like all hot chicks in goofy zombie flicks, she becomes a zombie. Not that the film cares. By this point, the writers have introduced half a dozen characters, leaving no reason to remember any of them. It’s a merry-go-round of half naked chicks meant to die and come back to eat people.
The zombies don’t look dead, they look more like disinterested hot chicks on the prowl for money in a bar full of deadbeats. The Kung Fu moves in the beginning are a nice touch, but soon the film reverts to its core competency; upskirt shots of undernourished bimbos.
There’s no consistency to the zombies themselves; how fast they move, what makes them a zombie instead of just a victim, how often they need to feed, how conscious they are of their condition.
The undead in 1932’s “White Zombie” are more convincing than those in Dorm of the Dead. Many times in the movie, the two parties sharing a conversation are obviously shot at different times of day, with different audio levels and camera techniques.
Unless viewers don’t have the Internet, or any other way to take scant looks at skinny topless blondes, stay away from this one. It’s empty, like pouring glitter on yourself just to lie to your friends that you went to a topless bar.
Extras include a ton of previews, original trailer and documentary.