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Dracula’s Orgy Of The Damned

Review by: 
Sinferno
Release Date: 
2013
Studio: 
Cheezy Flicks
Genre: 
Vampire
Format: 
DVD
Region: 
1 NTSC
Aspect Ratio: 
1.78:1
Directed by: 
James Baack
Cast: 
Andrew Baack
James Baack
Tina Boivin
Movie: 
1
Extras: 
0
Bottom Line: 
1
Video: 
Click to Play

Because all movie premises are largely cyclical and all original ideas in film have been used up long ago, the concept of a new movie that pays homage to classic monster flicks from decades earlier is not as unexpected as one might think.  The truth of the matter is that I receive at least one “classic remake of a Universal Monster movie from another era” at least twice a month e.g., BLOOD FOR IRINA, OCTAMAN. As such it turns out that such retreads are seldom rare, nor well done as the classic film obsessed directors who always make these little “homages” think they are.  Let us take a Look at DRACULA’S ORGY OF THE DAMNED and see if this premise is either as stiff or as sexual as it openly suggests.

As the film begins we are treated to something I find personally odious in a film and that is a fake warning screen, stern words of impromptu warning somehow trying to talk me out of watching the film I just put in the DVD player….

 

WARNING

The producers of this film

Strongly caution that seeing DRACULA’S

ORGY OF THE DAMNED may open you

to occult influences and 

episodes of stark terror.

We cannot accept responsibility 

For any consequential damages

To your mental, psychological

or spiritual health.

Sincerely, 

Great Lakes Artists Group 

 

I started to have a bad feeling about this thing after reading this, and let me sure you that it had very little to do with fear of my own “mental, psychological and spiritual health”.  In fact I don’t know what most of those things even are anymore at least when it comes to film.

The film ensues and we are treated to interior shot of a study where we first encounter our narrator, a British man named Victor Fleming, a classy sort of gent in a ten dollar sweater and a melodramatic tone of speech that comes dangerously close to over acting as he pontificates about how he was a collector of things, even and including stories, one special story in fact that will “freeze” your very soul, DRACULA’S ORGY OF THE DAMNED.

We meet Patricia Hughes in her psychiatrist’s office talking, ranting actually about the bad thing that happened on a night long ago when Dracula came to visit her, killing both her husband and father and somehow leaving her as a half vampire. The Psychiatrist responds exactly as any sane person might respond to such a story, even asking Patricia about the curious fact that it is indeed daytime out and questioning the young woman about the crucifixes that she wears. Patricia becomes irate and informs us that those are just vampire myths?  This is convenient I suppose as most of the action films in this “spooky” film are shot in outdoor settings in midday in various public parks.

Well wouldn’t you know it? No sooner does Patricia leave her psychiatrist’s office to visit an exorcist that was recommended to her when a bald, youngish Dracula that looks like a cross between Doug Bradley (Hellraiser’s Pinhead) and Nosferatu shows up and bites the psychiatrist, welcoming her forever to his retinue of Vampire women. 

Meanwhile Patricia meets with a psychic and through a long drawn out sequence that seems like a “bad trip” as captured on a 1970’s drug awareness film in all the special effect splendor you might expect we realize that Patricia is not just being tormented but sought after by Dracula (the bald guy in the $50.00 patent leather jacket from Hot Topic).  

In a scene that looks like it was filmed on the S+M Dungeon from a much more expensive, watchable film, two women climb out of small casket they could never fit together in with the door closed.  They free a woman from a nearby cage who we are told was a waitress from a nearby bar they just picked up.  They lead the victim over to throne where Dracula removes her top and then bites her on the neck. Soon the other two women get topless as well sand they all lick and bite each other, but largely non sexual ways.  Yet, technically this scene is a literal “Orgy of the Damned”, so I can’t say this film didn’t deliver on basic premise.   Also apropos was the fact that it was yet another predictable highly symbolic, cinematic love scene involving a vampire that somehow “sucked”.

Not content with merely biting each other while music plays in the background that sounded like Nine Inch Nails Played at a quarter speed, this vampire clan also host personal games of blood sport known as “Catfights” in a dangerous place known as “The Outskirts” which I am guessing by all the plastic furniture, aluminum siding and Christmas lights in the background must be some kind of trailer park. But who can tell for certain as these scenes is the wrong kind of “dark” with most of the light for the scene coming from a nearby campfire. Throughout most of the night these freaks clad in T shirts and random latex masks from a “Halloween Spirit” store do battle-at least until Patricia Shows up with a gatling gun and blows them all away.  From there she hunts down the remaining Vampire clan members one by one even including an especially atmospheric scene where she walks across a frozen lake wearing a black duster. This scene is so cinematic; you barely notice the slum tenement apartment clearly visible in the background.

This film is so terrible, cheap and unwatchable that it immediately approaches self-parody.  I actually laughed more at it than I did most comedies. While I had fun at the basic expense of its plot, premise and execution I also never said anything about the hundreds of problems involving unconvincing equipment, shaky; almost epileptic camera work and sketchy audio where only the screams are delivered in anything remotely approximating actual human feeling. I am giving it one star because the narration by the old British Narrator “Lord Victor Fleming” really tricked me into believing me that I was going to get a much better film than I actually got.  Yet later in the film he too provided me with the biggest laugh of all in the film at his own expense, a moment that was almost Monty Pythonesque.  There was a scene where a large foreground of a historical school building was shown and our stately narrator had to actually jog down a staircase and into the camera in a lengthy sequence lasting no less than twenty seconds all so he could deliver the brief, meaningless line “Patricia Begins her path of revenge”…That’s something I always like in a movie, the riveting action sequence of an onscreen narrator as he desperately searches for his mark.

Extras Include Nothing…

Start your own orgy...or not. 

 

 
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