"I'm your Queen, Your my king. I feel good now, happy like a clown."
So begins the abominable Euro-trash disco theme song which sounds like a cross between Shirley Bassey and The Bee Gees. It's one of the worst songs I've ever heard, but Jolly Joe D'Amato obviously disagrees with me as it pops up on a number of occasions right through the film!!
Anyway, down to the "plot"
A nurse has part of her breast bitten off by a mental patient. The patient was found in the jungle and is described as a "real savage"(If this was the case god only knows why she is wandering around the mental hospital unrestrained!!)
Emanuelle (Gemser), an undercover reporter, witnesses the above event. She tries to interview the girl, but she is too agitated. To calm her down, she begins to masturbate the young girl (who has an incredibly hairy love trail!)
This unorthodox interview technique doesn't really do the trick, so the reporter hooks up with an archeological professor to gain some information about the young girls strange tattoo. Professor Lester quickly gives a whole new meaning to the expression "archeological dig" by shagging Emanuelle, then agrees to accompany her on an Amazon Basin expedition to track down the tribe that the young girl has been living with.
The intrepid duo quickly hook up with a young girl, Isobel, and a nun(who is well tasty )called Sister Angela. Before setting off on their mission, the Professor and Emanuelle have sex again, while Isobel lustily masturbates outside the bedroom watching the couple (it goes without saying that another one of those interminable disco tracks is playing in the background)
Isobel's fanny is even hairier than the mental patients; a veritable forest!!
The team eventually set off on a small boat into the basin, eventually finding a beautiful cove to rest and relax in. Emanuelle and Isobel relax by washing each other's naked bodies in the stream, watched by a chimpanzee who has apparently wandered in from a 40s Johnny Weissmuller Tarzan film and proceeds to smoke a cigarette, put on some sunglasses and clap its hands vigorously!!
Emanuelle is attacked by a big snake, which is shot by a man called Donald Mackenzie. He invites the team into his camp, where he resides with his wife, Maggie. It quickly becomes clear that Donald can't get it up, so Maggie decides to take her pleasure with the muscular guide who is on the trail with them (cue teeth-grinding synthesizer tune)
Donald, frustrated, spies on the naked sleeping Isobel, and receives a smack from the outraged professor for his pains after he has attempted to remove the young girls knickers!!
Donald is hard as nails though, and gives the professor a good pasting.
Sister Angela is kidnapped and attacked by cannibals, and has one of her nipples sliced off and eaten, before she is finally sliced open and is eaten alive by the cannibals. The team set off looking for Angela, until Donald thoughtfully suggests that "This is a waste of time, Angela will have been digested by those cannibals by now"!!
Many more bizarre adventures occur, until Emanuelle and what's left of her party are captured by the cannibals, only escaping when Emanuelle pretends to be the tribe's water goddess and the party make their escape on a raft. The plot description I've just given you probably makes it seem that the film is just a series of random haphazard scenes hastily thrown together with extreme violence and amusing soft core sex scenes-well I'm pleased to report that that is a correct assumption and that this film is as deliriously entertaining as it sounds.
From its mad Disco music, extremely violent cannibal shenanigans, the glorious Gemser being stark naked for a goodly portion of the film (if Gemser doesn't get you boys hitchhiking under the sheets then I suggest a trip to the chemists for some Viagra), and some outrageously bad dubbing, Emanuelle and the Last Cannibals is an unashamed guilty pleasure from start to finish, and one that any trash fan should be proud to have in his collection
The DVD on review is the region 2 version on the Italian Shock label. The picture is a bit grainy, but the film looks as good as I've ever seen it.