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Evil Bong 3D The Wrath of Bong

Review by: 
Release Date: 
Full Moon
Aspect Ratio: 
Directed by: 
Charles Band
Robin Sydney
Christina DeRosa
Amy Paffrath
Bottom Line: 
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Some time ago I reviewed the first two evil bong movies here.

Well, needless to say this is the third installment of the series, and yet somehow things are different; better which seldom happens with a sequel, three deep in.  Aside from the 3D aspect his film has something in common with only a handful of films ever pressed onto DVD and that little something is commonly to as “Smell O Vision”.  What sounds like a running joke on Futurama actually became the ultimate underground gimmick for the home video market for your third olfactory sense and I personally remember seeing my first scent card movie: “SCENT OF MYSTERY” on MTV in 1985 complete with “Smell o rama” cards purchased from 7-11 for a dollar.  Even though that film was no less than 25 years old at the time and certain smells worked better than others, I remember thinking how absolutely fucking wonderful this was, sure to catch on.  Well guess what?  Scented video cards never truly took off and except for a few titles such as THE RUGRATS MOVIE, SPYKIDS 4D, and POLYESTER which now command a high price from collectors, because film weirdoes like me have bought them all and made them cost prohibitive for most people to ever obtain them.  Don’t hate me, the fact I just admitted to ACTUALLY BUYING SPY KIDS 4D because it came bundled with a couple pieces of stinky cardboard brings me more self-loathing than most of you could ever comprehend as I probably just ruined what little credibility I ever had as a sexploitation film reviewer of adult themed film.

In true “Smell O Vision” fashion EVIL BONG 3D comes with scented cards, featuring eight separate numbered areas so you may sniff them when the film flashes the corresponding number onscreen.  Also included of course are two pairs of those anaglyphic red and blue 3d glasses that deliver splitting headaches and make you see everything with a blurry violet tinged for much of the day after watching a full length film.  While I hate talking about a films technical aspects unlike many film reviewers and audiophiles who scrutinize every moment of a film then write bizarre technobabble treatises on whether (or not) it was up to the gold standard of 5.1 that makes them gush on and on for pages in their reviews like adolescent schoolboy speaker head fetishists (who I strongly suspect privately fornicate their own input ports for sport). Yet in the case of EVIL BONG 3D: WRATH OF BONG such discussion of tertiary sensory delight is very relevant.

For example, if you take this movie at face value, it isn’t very good at all.  Four lovable losers who still haven’t got a clue ONCE AGAIN find themselves in possession of an evil magic hookah which has already become a plot devices as insipid and contrived as Bruce Willis’s John Maclane character continuing to “accidentally” run into international terrorists in mid plan at the beginning of every DIE HARD film.  

Of course, most normal people can easily embrace almost limitless suspension of disbelief by the time they purchase a film about a talking bong (Oh how I envy them).  Even so, most B movies that are this patently stupid, silly or one note have the good sense to keep the viewer placated with scenes of sex and violence so that they can at least have something visceral to watch while they are soaking up the cinematic stupid. As such it should be noted that there are no sex scenes in EVIL BONG 3D, and no one dies in it.  As is the trend of all installments of Evil Bong movies, four unlucky youths smoke an evil talking pipe and are transmitted to “Bong World”, a strip club looking netherworld where they get to meet evil scantily clad/topless women and interact with them, though of course not the way you would hope.  Some madness ensues as they make a bid to escape and more often than not the pipe is destroyed at the end of the film, except for the original Evil Bong character “Ebie” from the first film who is now something of a friend, consultant and mother figure to the boys with her snarky wisdom, sage advice and the exact voice of an always angry Oprah Winfrey.  No kidding.

Yet, EVIL BONG 3D is much more than this if you personally can appreciate the gimmicks which I mentioned earlier. For old-school stereoscopic the 3d is very good and this time “bong world” is populated by topless alien women done in various colors of neon body paint who shine with a striking alien, ethereal luminescence and look like they want to burst through your screen.  As many films which are designed for 3D from the first day of shooting, the characters routinely point and shake objects at you, (the home viewer) every spare moment to the point of symbolically accusing you of something; somehow threatening you with their exaggerated physical pantomimes. Animations between scenes are also the stuff of magical marijuana fancy as rotating pot leaves swirl and fall into your face like the rose petals from AMERICAN BEAUTY.  While I wasn’t stoned when I watched this (film is the only drug I need) I have to admit that the 3D aspect was very trippy all on its own.

As for the scent card, most of the aromas smelled like various grades of weed, but they did include one scent that was a “fake out” (a pleasant looking object switched to something gross at the last minute onscreen) which has historical precedent in about every “odorama” movie ever made and it tricked me too even though I half expected it.  My one complaint is that sometimes some of the numbers were hard to read, especially with the 3D glasses on. Seriously, if anyone could tell me what minute in the film I was supposed to sniff “4”, I would be most appreciative.

Look, at the end of the day Horrorview is a site featuring reviews to “B” movies which by and large are designed to give you strange screen experiences that you will never get by seeing flicks they play at your local multiplex. There is no sense in my trying to act like Roger Ebert here, because most people will agree that some bad films, amount to good fun if they are gimmicked up properly as this has been so masterfully tricked out. However, if you are a film purist who always insists on plots, subtle foreshadowing and a distinct conflict resolution at the end of every movie you see this is an uninspired two skull mess of a film.  Yet, if you want a fun, visual sensory experience that doesn’t ask you to figure out anything more sophisticated than counting to eight, using a series of scent based numerical clues this is four skulls of fun all day long.  Also it bears mentioning, that if you are the type of film fan whose favorite movie is THE WIZARD OF OZ with the sound muted played to Pink Floyd’s DARK SIDE OF THE MOON, this flick is your new five skull CITIZEN KANE my pothead friend.  

Get it here! 


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