Somebody please take the camera away from the Pang Brothers! After releasing a very successful and scary film in the Eye, it has all been downhill for this Hong Kong duo. For those of you who were foolish enough to buy the Eye 2, do yourselves a favor and just pretend that this title doesn't even exist. Christ, where do I start?
The Eye 10, or the Eye: Infinity (HK Title) is to Asian horror as Jaws IV was to the American genre. Simply stated, this film is a joke. From the get go, the Earth, Wind & Fire-esque credits music is a dead giveaway that there is something severely wrong with the feature you just popped in the DVD player. Then it happens....... a scene where a group of Buddhist monks are performing an exorcism on a young girl. Everything is going fine, nice mood, deviant setting..... then *slurp*!
Not "bang", not "boom" or even the underestimated "pow", but "slurp".
The girl's tongue swells to demonic proportions and begins bitch slapping the monks as they go through their routine! What the fuck is this?! The Pang Brothers version of Scary Movie?
Jump to the future where a group of 5 friends are jumping around like epileptics and videotaping everything in sight. All's well with the introductions until the Dead man sees "Ray MacDonald" flash across the screen in the credits. Ray MacDonald? In a Chinese/ Thai film? Interesting. So the group goes back to good ol' Ray's house in Thailand, where they proceed to tell the most inane scary stories ever heard. Ray then breaks out a book that tells of 10 ways to see ghosts in the "real world", hence the dubious title of the film. This is when shit really hits the fan as Fred, Daphney, Velma, Shaggie and Ray test out the methods to find ghosts walking among them.
The most agitating aspect of this film isn't that the Pang brothers have besmirched the Eye by releasing this sad sequel, but that they fail so miserably in trying to make a film that is both funny and scary. Honestly, after the cartoon-ish antics that the 5 protagonists engage in, there is no possible way that this film, or its contents can be taken seriously. However, the Pang brothers attempt on several occasions to integrate cliché Asian horror jump points into a virtual comedy. I mean, how scared am I supposed to get of CG affected ghosts after they were just passing out when one of the main characters farted on them? Am I supposed to be trembling in fear as a ghost possesses one of the characters and makes him break-dance?
Turning to the special features of the disc, I soon realized that this journey was in fact a complete waste of my time. Any sort of interest that could have been drawn from the 2 "making of" featurettes was squashed by that silly little language barrier. I just don't understand.... some dildo took the time to subtitle the entire movie, yet can't find the energy to sub the special features. Fucking why?!
Bottom line, the Pang brothers have become a joke, and their films are the different ways to present the punch line. Watching the Eye, Eye 2 and Eye 10 in succession is like a PowerPoint presentation on "How to Ultimately Fail in Filmmaking". Comparable to watching your favorite sports star play his way into obscurity, the Eye franchise needs to retire before it becomes an even bigger mockery. Although, at this point I don't think another film in the series could hit the lows that Eye 10 does. It easily makes "Don't Look in the Basement" seem like the most compelling film in my collection.