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Fear, The

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Vincent Robert
Eddie Bowz
Heather Medway
Ann Turkel
Vince Edwards
Darin Heames
Bottom Line: 

Blue gels are scary. At least, that’s what the opening of The Fear would have you believe. A college student, Richard (Bowz) is suffering bad dreams while trying to finish his thesis. Wait till you hear this, it’s a study of fear. After talking to his professor (Craven), he agrees to look into his own fears.

It’s all a straight road downhill from there.

Enter his buddy, Troy (Heames), the white guy with dreadlocks. Not just that, he looks like he’s 35 and playing a college student. It’s like a pilot episode of Dreads 90210. He wears tie-dyed clothes while everyone else wears black and sunglasses.

The soundtrack had to have been lifted from a separate movie. So far, we’ve seen almost exclusively suburbanite whities dressed like Bruce Wayne, and the music is pure rap. By itself, it’s not bad, but on top of all these clowns, it looks like a remake of Daredevil.

On to the plot. There’s a life-sized wooden doll that stalks them all. It’s inhabited by the spirit of a dead Indian, but let me repeat. There’s a life-sized wooden doll that stalks them all, killing them with each of their own fears. And he’s named Morty.

In order to expose what is going to happen in the next hour, each person lines up and tells Morty their fears. That way the clever hints like showing a girl won’t go near a cliff or a guy who freaks at bees are unnecessary, but included anyway. Richard goes last. He’s afraid of Morty, setting up a face-to-face confrontation once Morty starts whacking people.

Just when you have the cast of college kids, enter Uncle Pete in a Santa suit and his Russian mail-order bride. Uncle Pete has to stay with them because his house is ruined by snow, but there isn’t a flake of snow in the entire movie, not even at Santa’s workshop.

When Morty finally springs into action, it’s hilarious. Not since Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo has “the robot” been so frightening. The ending is absolute ass, and reveals that writer Ron Ford passed Psych 101, smoked weed and wrote this movie in six minutes.

I love this job, but I have to admit that even I wouldn’t watch a movie where a wooden toy kills people through ridiculous methods. Ok, I would. But this was painful. Quick cuts wreck scenes and move people from room-to-room. The first example has a woman catch her man making another woman strip, and then bedding him within 20 seconds. The incest didn’t help any, either.

Every actor in this movie comes off as a cheap version of someone better known. As a result, the movie does, too, appearing as a cheap follow up, greenlighted only due to the success of movies like Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer. The Fear represents an entire class of straight-to-video garbage in the mid-90’s.

The Special Features were limited to the norm; scene access, interactive menus, and some factoids.

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