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Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning

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Danny Steinmann
Melanie Kinnaman
John Shepherd
Shavar Ross
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Next to Friday the 13th Part 3, Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning is one of the poorer entries in the franchise thus far. You see, this is the Scooby Doo Friday The 13th movie.
Lil' Tommy Jarvis is now a fucked up teenager with a severe lack of conversation skills and quite possibly the drabbest personality ever conceived in a film containing the words Friday, The and 13th. After the traumatic events in The Final Chapter where he shaved his head in less time than it takes to boil an egg and showed Voorhees just how to swing that machete, he's spent years in institutions. He suffers from terrifying visions of Jason and finds himself shipped off to the Pinehurst Youth Development Centre. At an extremely unlucky time!
The fundamental flaw with the movie is it's lame beyond belief plot twist where we discover that the "Jason" we have been watching is actually an imposter in a (perfect!) costume and mask using the Voorhees modus operandi. "Why old man Farley, I knew it would be you!" So this is the F13 film which doesn't even feature a killer named Voorhees. It's not a clever idea, it's an annoying cheat. Luckily Jason was resurrected for the next entry.
I like to watch all of the film bar the last 5 minutes (same for Easy Rider) and you'd be advised to do the same. That way you can pretend that it really was Jason all along. I also have to mention that if the F13 series had followed the even lamer and far more dubious thread left at the end of the picture, then the series would have been in far bigger trouble.
However the film does deserve a special nod of attention for one very funny scene involving two patients at the Pinehurst Youth Development Centre. Ever wonder what would happen if a chocolate obsessed and very annoying patient wound up an angry patient chopping up wood with an axe? Yep, you guessed it. And it also features a cool head crushing sequence via a leather strap around a tree.
You should also keep an unfortunate eye out for two specific characters. One closely resembles Michael Jackson whilst the other resembles Madonna. Which is probably what happens when you make a crap horror film in the mid 80's. As soon as you're forced to watch "Madonna" bodypopping away in her bedroom as if she just stepped out of a film called Electric Boogaloo, you'll be yearning for "Jason" to sort it out.
Other than the frightening sight of characters resembling naff 80's pop icons, you must also keep the other eye out for two other annoying characters. Two local inbreds at a nearby farm who come across as Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake rejects. Only not that good. These two are even more embarrassing and irritating than the Madge and Wacko Jacko clones. Oh, and the actual singers themselves.
One for completists only.

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