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Honey Buns

Review by: 
Heads Or Tails
Release Date: 
Impulse Pictures
Aspect Ratio: 
Directed by: 
James Chiara
Ushi Digard
Rene Bond
Matt Hewitt
Bottom Line: 

Honey Buns, the most literal cover art premise from a 1970’s adult film to cross my desk quite some time.  It doesn’t take an inspection by the FDA to see that this films promised contents of both “honey” and “buns” are amply stated indeed, at least visually. Of course, like most porn premises from this era it had nothing to do with the enclosed film whatsoever, except for all the usual spilling of “man frosting” at the end of every scene like so much whipped cream. Still it’s got both Ushi Digard and Rene Bond, so let’s once again peel apart the soft, moist folds of this honey bun and see if it is as satisfyingly sticky as you have come to expect from both 70’s pornos and fresh pastries.

HONEY BUNS is actually the Story of Harry, a lowly, middle aged office worker who has severe social problems. Not only is he the only employee who works at the Internally Yours Feminine Hygiene company who isn’t having actual sex in his office, but he mopes around the first few frames of his film with a briefcase full of pornography which couldn’t look any more pathetic, especially in a movie where each and every one of his coworkers is openly enjoying the fruits of full penetration.  Poor Harry.

Of course, before you can say “Dear Penthouse forum, I never thought this could happen to me”, Harry makes the acquaintance of a strange street magician, a man who takes an interest in his plight and offers him a magic red pill and a chance to change his world forever.  Harry immediately accepts the drug from the strange and mysterious total stranger who speaks in riddles and quickly consumes it. Seriously, Who wouldn’t? What’s the worst that could happen?   After all, it worked for Neo.

From there we are treated to a strange Christmas Carolesque foray into the recesses of Harry’s mind, or at least the filthy equivalent from a 70’s adult film.  Women seem to appear out of nowhere in Harry’s apartment with thematic names “Do it, Delicious, and Show me” and harry immediately begins to have sex with them only to find that they disappear at the worst possible moment during sex.  Compounding these matters, Harry’s final succubus is actually a dominatrix named Right-Guard who seems to delight in physically abusing him.  It is then that Harry heeds the words of the magician and reaches into his very soul for some inspiration.

He then realizes that for the first time in his life that he is in charge of his own fantasy as the three nice women reappear before his very eyes and do lesbian stuff with one another. But wouldn’t you know it, the Dominiatrix clad Right Guard also appears and demands that Harry immediately comes crawling to her. But Harry is no longer a mild mannered, two pump chump. To prove this, he slaps her, calls her a bitch and instructs the three other girls to hold her down as Harry shows her how virile he really is in exactly the manner you might expect, amounting to the type of aggressive act that leaves no doubt about who is now “assuming the dominant position” of his own fantasy life.. From there Harry tells the magician to go away forever, but considering he finishes the film up in bed with four naked magical porn starlets who now cater to his every physical whim, we the viewer can truly that Harry may have lost his magic but truly found his Mojo.

This one has all the hallmarks of a classic from the day.  While obviously filthy, it plays out like an absurd amusing cartoon. It has both Ushi Digard and Rene Bond in it and it has been remastered so the print itself looks as clear as you can logically expect it to be. Also, the scene where Harry “expresses his dominance” is the sort of thing you can’t see in mainstream adult films anymore, so fans of vintage stuff and “rough cuts” may want to give this a look. Additionally, I think every fan of adult film should see at least one Ushi Digard movie in their lifetime just to see how the standards of erotic beauty can change so much in just forty years and no, a picture from google images is not the same thing.  Give me a thumbs up if you understand what I am saying here.

Extras include nothing.

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