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House Where Evil Dwells/Ghost Warrior

Review by: 
Head Cheeze
Release Date: 
1982/1984
Studio: 
Scream Factory
Genre: 
Horror
Format: 
Blu-ray
Region: 
A
Aspect Ratio: 
various
Directed by: 
Kevin Connor
Larry Carroll
Cast: 
Doug McClure
Susan George
Eddie Albert Jr.
Hiroshi Fujioka
Janet Julian
Movie: 
3
Extras: 
1
Bottom Line: 
3

Fans of bad sci-fi/horror movies will know the name Doug McClure. The ubiquitous actor showed up in several of them, including the Roger Corman howler, Humanoids from the Deep, as well as a few of those seventies “beneath the Earth” flicks where men fought Dinosaurs who’d somehow found new homes near the planet’s molten core. McClure also went on to inspire the Phil Hartman voiced Troy McClure (“You may remember me from such films as…”), painting him as an actor who was less than picky about the quality of films he choose to make. Fans of marginally decent films (and some classics) will also, no doubt, recall Susan George, who seemed to be in at least one out of every dozen films made between 1968 and 1979. As for Edward Albert, well, he has no fans. His father was famous, though.

The three actors formed sort of a “supergroup” of mediocrity when they joined forces for 1982’s The House Where Evil Dwells; a ghost story that is only slighter scarier than a basket full of puppies, yet not nearly as intelligent.

The film opens in feudal Japan, as a woman entertains her lover with a soothing song on her biwa (accompanied by an invisible flautist) before getting down to the nasty. The woman’s samurai husband comes home and finds his cheating wife and her lover, and we are then treated to a long, slow motion scene of the Samurai swinging his sword at furniture and curtains. Eventually he finally hits some flesh, and kills his wife and her lover, before killing himself.

Flash forward two hundred years, and Alex (McClure) is greeting his friend Ted (Albert), along with his wife Laura (George) and daughter Amy (who, according to the IMDB, played the role of “Amy” in three other films, making one wonder if she was aware that she was even in a film at all) at the airport. Ted is in Japan to do some “research”, and Alex has procured the family a house for their stay. It’s a traditional style house, which Ted wanted, but the only catch is that it’s haunted. Ted and Laura laugh this off, while Amy stares out the window of the cab, apparently wondering who these people are, and why she isn’t back home in school with all of the other kids. Of course the house they are moving into is the same house where the samurai killed his wife and lover, and the ghosts are very much real. The ghost of the wife inhabits Laura’s body and makes lewd comments to Alex, igniting an affair. At the same time, Ted sees the female specter and becomes obsessed with her. Amy, meanwhile, is attacked by wind-up crabs that are dragged across her bedroom floor on strings, chanting stuff in Japanese. Everyone is possessed or haunted in one way or another, save for Alex, who is, apparently, just an asshole.

The House Where Evil Dwells is a terrible horror movie, but it is a fantastic comedy. The fight scene at the film’s end alone is worth the price of a rental. Watching Albert and McClure’s display their choreographed martial arts skills is akin to watching a middle-aged white man dance to a Wu Tang album. It’s at once embarrassing and hilarious. I'll throw this film a half-a-skull for the George nudity alone, but, otherwise, there's nothing to see here.

The film was shot on-location in Japan, and actually looks pretty good, as does George, an actress who one can always rely upon to take off her clothes at the drop of a hat. The performances aren’t really as bad as one would think, save, of course, for Amy, who looks as though she may have required her own on-set “drool” wiper. The real problem with this film is that, with the exception of the gory opening and ending sequences, nothing else really happens, and the film’s attempts at scaring the audience are laughable.

Faring slightly better is the set’s second feature, Ghost Warrior (aka Swordkill); a wild and wacky action/sci-fi farce courtesy of Charles Band’s Empire Pictures.

After falling into a frozen lake during a duel in feudal Japan, samurai Yoshimitsu Taga (Hiroshi Fujioka) awakens nearly 400 years later after his body is discovered by some skiers (who oddly find him in a cave?) and thawed out and reanimated in “modern” (aka 1980s) Los Angeles. When “Yoshi”, as he’s called, comes around, he’s understandably bewildered, and, seeing as how no one speaks his language, he’s not exactly soothed by the presence of “Asian Studies Expert”, Chris Welles (Janet Julian), who doesn’t speak a lick of Japanese. Things go from bad to worse when a lowly security guard sees the resale potential in one of Yoshi’s swords and tries to steal it. This, of course, ends badly, and Yoshi escapes, where he goes on a Samurai vigilante spree throughout neon-drenched LA.

While Ghost Warrior (who isn’t a ghost at all) may sound like the more ridiculous of the two films, it’s actually a lot of fun, and light years more entertaining than The House Where Evil Dwells. Sure, the plot makes next to no sense, the writing is mostly terrible, and the performances are strictly B-movie level stuff, but seeing a samurai carve up a street gang more than makes up for such deficiencies.

Both films are squeezed onto a single platter, here, as is the case with all of Scream Factory’s double feature Blu-rays, so, unsurprisingly, there’s not much here by way of extras. Actually, there’s nothing at all! Hey, what do you expect?  It’s budget-priced stuff! However, I will say both films LOOK fantastic, especially The House Where Evil Dwells, which looks near pristine here.

If you’ve got a spot on your shelf for some Samurai-themed schmaltz, and, like me, find joy in revisiting bad movies of yesteryear, this double feature set from Scream Factory is worth considering.  

 

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