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Intermedio

Review by: 
Head Cheeze
Release Date: 
2005
Studio: 
Asylum
Genre: 
Supernatural
Format: 
DVD
Region: 
0 NTSC
Aspect Ratio: 
1.33:1
Directed by: 
Andrew Lauer
Cast: 
Edward Furlong
Cerina Vincent
Amber Benson
Steve Railsback
Movie: 
0
Extras: 
0
Bottom Line: 
0

 When I looked at the cover for Intermedio, and saw the somewhat impressive line-up of young actors (Furlong, "Cabin Fever" hottie, Vincent, and "Buffy's" Benson), as well as genre veteran, Steve Railsback, I have to admit that I was intrigued. Sure, Furlong hasn't been burning up the box-office lately, but the guy's had a few memorable performances, and, thanks to this film, he has another one to his credit. However, in this instance, this performance will serve as a reminder for me to never purchase another film with Edward Furlong in it.
 
When Malik (Furlong) and Gen (Vincent) were young, their fathers went missing in an underground cave system which served as a route for drug mules to transport various illegal goodies across the border. While Malik is pretty sure their fathers high-tailed it to Mexico, Gen isn't so sure, and buys into the local legend of the intermedio; a spirit that is caught in between this world and the next. So, when Gen's boyfriend Wes comes calling with a deal that would take them into these caves to pick up $60,000 dollars worth of marijuana, Malik and Gen, along with Malik's girlfriend, Barbie (Benson), gear up to find out the truth about their fathers.
 
The beginning of the journey is uneventful enough (unless you count the dozen or so lame attempts to scare us), but, when the group meet their Mexican contacts, the intermedios make their presence known, killing off one of the drug smugglers, and trapping our heroes below-ground, where the bad special effects live.
 
Intermedio has to be the sloppiest horror film I've seen in years, and I blame most of that sloppiness on director Andrew Lauer's absolute failure to keep his actors in check. Scenes where the cast are supposed to be fighting over "whose fault is what" and "why so-and-so did this" are reduced to little more than several people yelling over one another. Were this to have happened once or twice, I'd chalk it up to the director trying to create a sense of hysteria. However, most of the film consists of scenes like this, with Furlong, especially, reaching Shatner-esque heights of hamminess. The actors step on each other's lines so often that much of what is said is lost in a cacophony of shrieks and grunts, peppered with the occasional bit of profanity, and Furlong punching a wall or slapping the ground like a cornered gorilla.
 
If Lauer deserves to be skewered for his lack of directorial skill, editors David Michael Latt and Dustin Voigt should be no less than roasted alive for the phenomenally bad hatchet-job done in the editing room. Loaded with unforgivable continuity errors, and a blatant disregard for the craft, Latt and Voigt's attempts to "hip" things up with quick cuts and flashes amount to little more than extended bits of indecipherable imagery floating around the screen. It's also obvious that Lauer didn't shoot enough footage of Railsback, because we see the same sleepy-eyed shot of him used over and over and over and over...
 
And speaking of Railsback, what the hell is his character doing here, anyway? He plays a guy who killed his kid in these caves, because he got into "chasing pussy" and drugs. So why is he still in the caves killing people? And doesn't anyone miss the dozens of dead bodies he's piled up down there?
 
And why is it that the necklace he uses to control the intermedio is one he pulled from the neck of his party-hearty son? Did the boy have this power before him?
 
And If Malik and Gen are so curious about these caves, why did they wait nearly 15 years to go explore them, when they're only a short drive away?
 
And why did Malik seem so blown away by Wes' revelation about the intermedio when Malik's the one who explains it to everyone before they even go down into the caves?
 
And why did they bring Barbie, who is on crutches with a broken leg? They were meeting drug dealers in an underground railroad, not going to Pizza Hut!
 
And why did I waste so much space, time, and energy writing about this truly awful, absolute waste of digital video when I could have simply called it the piece of fetid shit that it is and been done with it?

0
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