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Oui, Girls

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Fred J. Lincoln
Tiffany Clark
Anna Ventura
Lisa De Leeuw
Sharon Kane
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Long ago there was an actor named Fred J Lincoln who was perhaps best known for playing “Weasel”  the unsavory rapist #2 from Wes Craven’s first film “THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT”.  From there his film career perhaps even got even interesting as Mr. Lincoln became the director for countless adult films over the past thirty years.  Well, apparently it seems that Impulse pictures plans on reissuing many of these titles in a loose, non- chronological, non-consecutive sampling of this man’s considerable contributions to adult film. Let us take a look at OUI, GIRLS the third chronological Fred J Lincoln film from Impulse I have reviewed thus far and see once and for all if it is a title that Porn purveyors can say “yes” to.

At the start of this two private investigators named Nick (Paul Thomas) and his assistant Barbara, (Anna Ventura) decide to investigate a murder at the Circle S Swingers ranch where an evil man named ”Buck Thomas” was suspected to have murdered his first wife. While Barbara and Nick quickly become lovers, they actually become too emotionally close, mutually jealous which may just put their cover at risk and their lives and danger….and then again it might not?

During a pivotal scene where Barbara catches Nick in Bed with Buck’s wife, Cora (Lisa Deleeuw) she completely loses it, storms off and admits to Buck Thomas that they are not actually swingers after all but private investigators sent to prove that he himself murdered his last wife. This tactical error could have amounted to a very riveting and dramatic film had Buck actually been a murderer and Barbara and Nick had to spend the remainder of the ranch trying to reason, seduce or fight their way out of the ranch. Yet because Buck Thomas (Michael Morrison) is actually innocent, he informs Barbara that his first wife actually had no life insurance and actually gives her some relationship advice. Minutes later most of the characters immediately just go back to having sex in random positions with random people. In a rare bit of whiney drama that will annoy and disgust both men and women alike there is a final scene where Nick himself breaks down in an emotional bitch fit and rescues Barbara from a consensual M,F,M threesome (before it even begins) as he finally realizes he loves her and her alone. Swingers, couples and single consenting adults of all moral values who view this film will agree that this “romantic ending” finale of this film makes the “Nick” character look like a selfish jerk, an utter hypocrite and a terribly small man for a guy with a porn star penis.  There is a subplot about another couple joining the “ranch” and a few other antics regarding a couple featured party players including one guy who likes to expose himself but these antics are used primarily as padding. The sex is everything you would visually expect from a remastered porno from 1981.  The pubes are still bushy and excessive, even as you can see the first crops of “big eighties porno hair” on the heads of players starting to come in. When tabulated and added together they easily amount to the greatest combined length of body hair possible of any consecutive entry in this chronologically released series (thus far) and may never be surpassed by future volumes. If this is how you personally measure a movie, you may give it five stars.

As for me, I wish there was something other than sex going on, when Buck Thomas proved not to be a murderer and his wife just proved to be another harmless but insatiable swinger slut I got really bored with this.  All Adult films have sex going on. The good ones have something more than this. Personally, I have seen compilation VHS “clip tapes” from this era that had more plot than this particular outing, and usually with a more believable “happy ending” as well (usually every thirty seconds).

Extras Include Nothing.

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