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Spliced

Review by: 
Don't Feed the Dead
AKA: 
The Wisher
Release Date: 
2002
Studio: 
Screen Media
Genre: 
Horror
Format: 
DVD
Region: 
1 NTSC
Aspect Ratio: 
1.33:1
Directed by: 
Gavin Wilding
Cast: 
Liane Balaban
Robert Bamford
Ron Silver
Drew Lachey
Movie: 
0
Extras: 
0
Bottom Line: 
0

I often wonder how a production company can put the words "A cross between Nightmare on Elm Street and the Ring" on the cover of its movie and the movie not have any similarities to either movie. Personally, I would have stamped this one "Wishmaster rip-off with little to no redeeming value." I have many gripes about this title, but first, a short synopsis.
 
Mary is the main character of this movie. She is a narcoleptic horror fanatic that gets sexually excited when she becomes frightened. Mary has a past of sleepwalking and ending up in the middle of the street when she awakens. So why does Mary give herself nightmares by watching all of these horror movies? Simple, she has a pathetic life just like the rest of us. Anyways, a new horror movie, The Wisher, has just been released and it's magically drawing millions of fans to the theaters nationwide. Naturally, Mary defies her parents' orders not to see the movie and joins her friends to catch a glimpse of the scariest movie ever. Mary is in the theater and for some reason gets violently ill when she sees the image of The Wisher. She leaves after the first 20 minutes of the film and we cut to the father, who just found out where his daughter was. Earlier in the movie, Mary wished that her father would "go away", and so on his way to pick up Mary, he gets into a "terrible" car accident and dies. Wooohooo - pullin' out all the stops here! Mary and her knight in shining armor (Drew Lachey of 98 Degrees) just happen to drive by the accident and she gets all hysterical.
 
Cut to six weeks later, and Mary is still depressed about the whole situation. Mary gets violently ill whenever anyone talks about the Wisher, and is subsequently disassociating herself from all of her friends. She unwittingly makes a couple more wishes on her friend and her enemy, and ultimately decides that there is something funny going on. The rest of the movie is spent on solving the riddle of The Wisher and the subliminal pictures that were discovered in the film itself. Now, to the constructive criticism part of our journey.
 
First of all, the Wisher as a character is a complete rip-off of the original Wishmaster character. Shrouded in a burlap shawl, pale faced demon, the Wisher almost exactly resembles Andrew Divoff's character except the wisher has glass shards taped to his fingers! How utterly fucking ridiculous! Secondly, the acting aside from Ron Silver was absolutely atrocious, and at times, reminiscent of the Oscar caliber performances in Legion of the Dead. A laughable ending, that is almost as predictable as an Eddie Murphy comedy skit, even got an alternate as a DVD extra. I don't know why it's considered an alternate ending because it's the same as the original with some added strobe lighting and visuals of the Wisher himself.
 
Finally, for all you would-be filmmakers out there, NEVER cast a "Pop Star" as an opposite lead. THEY CAN'T FUCKING ACT!!!! Please file the copies of this movie under cinema wonders like Ishtar and Rocky 4. Don't touch it, look at it or even talk about it.
 

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