User login

Two Tigers

Review by: 
Release Date: 
Aspect Ratio: 
Directed by: 
Sandro Cecca
Andrea Osvart
Selena Khoo
Jay Natelle
Olivier Pages
Matt Patresi
Bottom Line: 

Gilda Robbins is a stunning, ambitious manager, working her way up the chain in the IT company, Soft Robotics, Ltd.  She’s a beautiful blonde from Boston who is now working in Shanghai…except that all of that is an absolute lie.  Gilda (Andrea Osvart (Pompeii ) is in fact a killer for hire, paid to establish a cover in China until her next order comes in.

Gilda’s Ahab is Detective McWilliam (Rome’s Matt Patresi) who has been tailing her for two years. He’s well versed in her modus operandi, but he knows nothing else about her. It isn’t long before Gilda gets her orders.  Between jobs, she spends a lot of time watching the neighbors having sex.  She soon meets Lin, the woman next door. Lin (Selena Khoo (Heatseeker)) is a high class call girl, looking for true love, and instead finding only a laundry list of predatory men. Lin is attacked by a would-be John, and Gilda joins her to pummel the assailants.  The two instantly kick off a friendship.

The film then shifts into a soft core adult film for no real reason.  Lin has sex with Michel, her steady John, and Gilda takes home this guy named George who rear-ended her car.  (Gilda is supposed to be a super-secret agent, but her cover story includes a fiancée. Sure hope George didn’t see the pictures of him while Gilda was riding him like a mechanical bull). Gilda also manages to take what seems like weeks to actually kill the drug lord she’s been paid to off.

Detective McWilliam comes to Shanghai, hot on Gilda’s trail…well, not hot, but he knows she’s in Shanghai at least. Lin’s lover claims he will leave his wife, and Lin is so excited that she asks Lin to dinner to meet Michel. Minutes later, Gilda gets her orders to kill Michel and his lover, her new best friend, Lin. She must make a personal decision – leave the career she despises and risk it all, or kill the only person she’s come to trust.

The acting in Two Tigers is awful.  There’s little heart to anyone in the film beyond maybe Khoo’s character. The martial arts (what little there are) is so choppy that it’s hard to follow. Gilda’s beauty is obvious on screen, but it doesn’t stop the writers from making every guy who graces the screen do a double take every time they see her. The story was written by Giovanna Caico and Luca Biglione, who are either both women, or gay men with an agenda.  Where Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor (Crank, Gamer) couldn’t write a strong female character to save their asses, Caico and Biglione couldn’t give a male character any depth if they had a construction crew and an excavator.

LionsGate has amassed a pretty good stable of martial arts and MMA films, several of which are previewed on this DVD (along with Marvel’s Punisher: War Zone). The DVD version of the film runs 89 minutes in widescreen format with Dolby 5.1 surround sound. Subtitles are available in Spanish and English.

Your rating: None